Oh goodness...
I wanted to update over a week ago, but every time that I sat down to write it didn't sound right to me, or my toddler was having some crisis that needed my attention, or the baby needed to be fed...the list went on , and then my mom left to go back to her home with the only working internet in my house at the time ( our personal internet had been out for almost 2 weeks, but she brought her nifty Verizon Mobile internet device so I didn't worry about it.) so then I had a week of waiting around for the ATT people to get out here and fix the phone line...anyway, we got it fixed two days ago, and of course its only now that I have found time to sit down and update...go figure :)
This week has felt like the longest week of my life. The Hubs left for an underway a week ago yesterday, and it was pretty darn hard to let him go. I'm getting so nervous for deployment...it's funny, I finally got around to reading the FRG newsletter last week and there was a letter from our Captain and he made a comment about how it may seem a bit early to be talking about it, but we're getting ready for deployment so he'll be at the next FRG meeting to talk some stuff over. And I thought to my self....early to talk about deployment? It's only about four months away! And a little less than 3 of those months are going to be spent underway anyway!
On top of the Hubs leaving, my family who had been visiting took off last Sunday. So this week has been me and the two yahoos by myself. And it's been trying...we've all been sick with some nasty cold, as well as Polyanna having a persistent ear infection, and Piglet dealing with reflux...not pleasant at all. I had a moment this week at the Naval Health Clinic, after dealing with a fussy baby the last two days I called the Dr. to get him in, and I was there with my active toddler and a screaming baby, I hadn't showered for 3 days, had gotten about 10 hours sleep in a 48 hour period, and by the way that people were looking at me, and the fact that two VERY kind people offered to help me in some way, I knew I was THAT woman.
You know...the woman you see somewhere in public, hands full of contrary children, so obviously worn down to the end of her rope, you're pretty sure she might just break down into tears if some one doesn't step in fast? Yes...I was that woman.
And of course, even after all of that, I was still insane enough to go with a friend to this man-made lake on base and attempt to keep my almost two-year-old from drowning herself while holding my 8 week old in my arms, cursing myself for not putting sunscreen on him and praying that his fair skin doesn't crisp in a matter of minutes like his fathers does.
And the SILLIEST thing is, that's the whole reason I went to the lake today! Because I knew how much the Hubs LOVES to go there, and I wanted to be able to write to him and tell him about our fun day at the lake, and how we can't wait until he gets home so we can all go together!
I will never do that alone again.
At least I've learned my limits. :)
In any case...lol you've probably figured by now that I've had a tough week. Sorry to vent about it. :) I promise my next post will be about something WAY more chipper!
until next time,
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2 thoughts:
I am sorry your week has been hell. I have been THAT mom more than once. Don't set limits for yourself, you'll miss out on too much. You will get stronger as you go. Go to D & C 58:3. The Lord know you, trust him.
((internet hugs)) i'm sorry jen!! you're so strong! even the most put together moms get to the end of their ropes. if you ask me, it's a lot scarier when they do-for them and for their kids. luckily for my family, i lose it on a regular basis so everyone (including me) knows how to handle it! you're doing a great job keeping it together, girlfriend.
and soon we'll be able to hang out a bit and that will make things so much better! moms unite!
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