They really should make a manual for this...

I think blogging should come with a manual! At least this type of blogging...I used  to just blog to my family and close friends and that was different. Those people actually KNEW me. I could say what I wanted without fear. But blogging the way I blog now ( both writing, and reading) in such a public forum requires...well a bit of finesse that I at moments have realized that I lack!

Source

I've had an experience recently where I feel like I performed a blogging sin. I didn't mean to, really. I think I operated ( mistakenly, I realize now) under the assumption that if you blog and you put yourself out there to the public, you are free to comment which ever way you like. Even if you happen to disagree with the blog author.

I had been reading a blog for a while that I actually really appreciated...I like the way that the author wrote and appreciated most of what they had to say...except for one particular attitude that seemed to be a reoccurring theme in their posts. So finally after several weeks of reading, I decided to say something. I tried to keep my comment as pleasant and respectful as possible, while still wanting to assert my opinion.

In the aftermath of that...I have realized that I was in the wrong. They mentioned in their comeback comment that it was their personal blog, and reflected how they personally felt. Any criticism given can be worded sweet as cherry pie...but it's still criticism. My comment was the equivalent of a perfect stranger coming into my house and critiquing how I, say,....do the dishes. I wouldn't have liked it any more then they did, and probably would have responded similarly  " Who in the world do you think YOU are?"

What I should have done was apply what I had learned as a child ( "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all") and walk away from a view that I didn't share. I had chosen to read them, I could also choose to stop. I think my comment honestly stemmed from the fact that...really, I didn't want to stop reading them. I liked reading them! Except for that one particular attitude that I thought was hurtful.

So lesson learned...and I do feel bad about the incident now, because it was uncalled for, and I represented myself as a type of person that I really am not. A lot of these blogs are like journals, and people are being gracious enough to let you get a glimpse inside of them, but that doesn't mean you have the right critique them or make them feel judged. If you don't like what they are saying, please, just walk away.

I try to blog, and comment, in a way that doesn't make anyone feel judged. I want this to be a place where I can go and speak, and hopefully people can find what I started out looking for...someone who understands and has been there.

Are there lessons that you have learned while you have been blogging?? PLEASE share! I'd really like to not have to commit too many more of these painful mistakes!

Thank you

Well...hahaha....I got unexpected response to my "comeback" post. I really do appreciate any of those who chose to read my blog....both those who comment and those who don't. I hope I didn't sound as if I was ungrateful for my readers. I think anyone who chooses to write a blog appreciates ANY person ( be it close family, friend, or virtual stranger) who takes the time to read their thoughts in the world. I was just putting down in words the nervousness I feel when I go to publish a post, particularly on this blog. I'm not sure that nervousness will ever go away...but at least you know it's not enough to stop me from writing. Because...well if it was, I wouldn't be here. :)

Along with that though...I've put some thought into how I want to move forward with this. LOL...I'm not sure about any one else, but for me...blogging has been a part of my life off and on since I got married 3 1/2 years ago. My first blog was started strictly as a log for my family on my goings on, because of course, the military had taken me very far away from them. I was sporadic at best with that blog, but as the years went by I found other interests ( like crafting and fitness) that I wanted to put out there in world and pretty soon I had 4 different blogs on my dashboard, none which I kept up with as diligently as they deserved.

I think one of my sister-in-laws put it best. When she saw that I had updated my military blog, she showed some of the same reservations she had before. When I asked her to clarify, she said to me " Jen, it's not that I mind that you've updated your military blog. It's just that I wish you would update you family one too." And I think that really is the crux of the matter for me. I think I was trying to compartmentalize all of the different aspects of my life. But if there is anything I have learned during this deployment so far...it's that, it's alright to have limitations. AND I can be a mom and a crafter, a military wife and an author all at the same time.

I'm probably getting a little too introspective. :) In any case, I've decided to have one blog that can incorporate ALL the various aspects of my life. I think it'll be MUCH more enjoyable to write, and to read for that matter.

Any way, I really did want to thank you all for the show of support on my last post. I hope you all will continue reading, and enjoy what I know will be a crazy glimpse into my life as I grow and learn and hopefully become a better person. :)

until next time,