Highlights

Well it may have seemed that life stopped when Skunky got home. Certainly my blog ( except for those wonderful girls who filled in for me!) took a little vacation the minute Skunky stepped off that boat. I'm finding it hard to get the motivation to blog at a (quasi) regular pace again! I have this odd tendency that when my routine gets thrown off I have a HUGE hard time finding a way to get back to it!

Not that I haven't had plenty to say that is blog worthy. And I enjoy blogging...really I do. I...however...am a bad life juggler, obviously ( hence my getting my routine back being a near insurmountable task!)!

So lets see if I can touch on the highlights....( in no particular order)

I had the weird opportunity to teach Skunky how to roller skate last weekend! I didn't know you could be a child born in the 80's and not know how to roller skate! Our next door neighbor had a skating party for their daughter and invited us ( even though Pollyanna is only 2 1/2!) and we thought....eh, why the heck not? So we went....and I spent my time holding hands with my two-year-old and my grown husband simultaneously dragging them around the rink while they jerked and shuffled and attempted to make the rounds without falling. It was possibly the most hilarious....and the most fun thing, I have EVER done.

Both of Skunky's parents came for a visit. They're divorced, so they came at separate times during the same week. It was interesting. I'm not super close to either of my in-laws, but I enjoy them when they are able to visit with us. I was kind of a nazi about no family visiting the day of homecoming, but I understood that they would wanted to see their son ASAP, so I figured it was no big after the first couple of days. Hind sight is 20/20 though...and while it wasn't a bad visit, it was stressful, at least for me. It really took Skunky and I the full 2 weeks before communication started to seem normal again ( even now we still have a few miss-fires but I'm sure that's normal) so when you add trying to entertain in-laws and maintain some sense of normalcy for two kids who haven't seen their Dad in 1/2 a year....yeah, it was a lot. I'll probably attempt to postpone any family visits until after the first two weeks back next deployment...

We took an 'adult' weekend in Boston and that was great! ( except that I was cranky and moody because I was expecting miracles he wasn't performing! sheesh, can't the man read a woman's mind?) I reserved us a fancy hotel, and we spent our time going to museums and great restaurants we haven't been to since our honeymoon! The one thing I wanted to accomplish during the weekend didn't really happen though...I wanted  to have a morning to sleep in with Skunky without the 6:30am wake up from the kids. Which I did get...we slept in until 10:30! But that really doesn't count when you consider the fact that we didn't go to bed until 3am! Epic fail there.

We finally bought dining room chairs that match, and are in the process of painting/refinishing the chairs and the table so they look like a complete set!! We'd been talking about getting new chairs since before deployment, since none of our existing ones matched or were very safe ( they always had screws falling out and were pretty much gery-rigged together!) So when two days after Skunky being home he says to me " We really need to get new chairs." I LEAPED at the chance! So we packed everyone in the car and drove the 45 minutes it takes to get to my "home re-modelers heaven" (also known as IKEA!) and picked up four of their cheaper, very sturdy chairs! Best part is that we're doing the project together! I have hope for our DIY future yet!

What else? The rest of our time really has just been spent getting used to life as a complete family again. Skunky is stellar....possibly the most patient, understanding man I know. I feel crazy and out of wack at moments and he just looks at me and says " Hey, we're fine. Everything is gonna be alright." They are, and I know this. And I feel so super blessed to be married to a man who takes adjustments well, and can deal with me during the moments that I'm not doing as well as he is.

Anyway....I had more to talk about but...this post has pooped me out, and Skunky is requesting my presence for a little SG1 watching ( OMG lamest show EVER!! We're watching through the first season because we told a good friend that we would but...it's a bit torturous to tell you the truth...) So I'll check you all later!

Our Banner...and a giveaway!

Alright...I was totally going to wait to do this post until I could actually get some shots of the banner hung up but....I find that I am WAY to excited to wait any longer!

I was just going to make my own  homemade banner ( with paint and kid's messy hand prints all inclusive) but then Meghan from Build A Sign contacted me just before I came back to the east coast and asked me to do a product review, and my answer was...heck yes! ( If you have read Goodnight Moon or Deployment Again then you have heard of Build A Sign before!)

So I made this:

Isn't it great? I'm super please with it! I know some of you may be wondering...."uh...it's not very military , Jenn"  which...I know. Build A Sign has A LOT of patriotic options to choose from ( as well as being able to completely design your own from scratch!) but I'm kind of minimalist when it comes to design in the first place...add to that, we're not really that much of a "HOOYAH" type family. But I did want to make a sign. I mean...You can't have a 'Homecoming' without some sort of a sign! I think I'm gonna hang it up with some red, white, and blue ribbon and bows. It's gonna look cute, I'll be sure to take more pictures when it's actually hung!

I also got the opportunity to play with some of their other products, and I decided to make some of these:

Aren't they cute? They're clings, so you can put them anywhere: your car window, your house windows, a mirror....anything that has a glassy type surface! And, they're movable, so when you get tired you can take them off one surface and put them on another!! And of course...I get to give them away! I have 3 of each of the branches except for the Sailor one ( hehehe two local Navy wives grabbed them, so there is only one of those left to give!)

( LOL It was pointed out to me the that one I have for Soldier was spelled wrong!!! Wow, way to catch that Jenn! That's possibly the ONLY bummer about Build A Sign....no spell check!!)

If you're interested...or if your know of a friend (or even a friend of a friend!) who would be interested, leave a comment! I'm thinking it'll probably be first come first serve, but if there is a large enough interest I may do a drawing...I'll keep you posted on that! I do ask that if your e-mail addy isn't connected to your profile and you're uncomfortable leaving that in a comment please e-mail me ( my address is linked to my profile!)

One more thought....Build A Sign has an awesome program for our Troops where you can make a sign for free! ( you have to pay for shipping and that's it!) It's a great program, and if you have a homecoming looming in the near future, I highly recommend checking them out! For even easier access, there is a small link located on my side bar, you'll see it!

Anyway...the count down to homecoming is fast coming to an end....and I CANNOT WAIT!! Ughhh...that man...thinking of being in the same room as him again ( let alone being able to look into his beautiful eyes, or touch him, or hear his sweet voice!)  literally gives me goosebumps!! I think I might just melt into a puddle right there on the pier...

( as a side note...if you're family and reading this, and have privileged information, please don't say specifics in your comments! just a reminder! :) )

It's official...

Well it's official. I am 29. I have entered my last year in my twenties. Weird. I don't feel 29. Honestly...sometimes at moments I feel like I'm a little girl "playing" house....although never in my wildest imaginations did I "play" that I was a military wife, with two children under the age of 3, and a husband who deployed for 1/2 the year.

Life just evolves...and the next thing you know, those are your challenges, and you are doing something in a millions year you never thought you could do. Things you still don't feel capable of doing...but you do them anyway...

I am strangely anxious ( and by anxious I mean riddled with anxiety) about homecoming. Almost as bad as it was during the load-out period before deployment. Wow, I've spent almost every day of the last 6 months wishing I could be with him, and now it's almost here and  I'm...lol...scared.

My more experienced Navy-wife friends tell me that it's normal. I told Skunky in an email recently, how I was nervous and scared for homecoming and his response was so simple...and so heartwarming it took my breath away;

"You are everything to me!  I cannot let that go or even fade just because of some small worry that might eat me up inside if I focus too hard on it!"

The man is a genius. I don't know how many times various members of my family have told me to "not worry over things you can't control" and yet Skunky is the only one who could say it in a way that made it click.

So...29 is going to be a new year for me. I'm turning over a new leaf, and I'm going to release my worries of what I can't control, and try my darnedest to live IN the moment! Every moment that I have with Skunky, Pollyanna, and Piglet is a blessing that should be treasured! Heavenly Father intended for me to be happy, and not live my life 'focused on worries that might eat me up inside'.


Happy birthday to Me. Happy birthday to me. Happy biiiiiirthday to meeeeee. Happy birthday to ME!

OPSEC and so much more...

Okay so....this weekend was slightly terrifying for me. I still feel a little crazy about it, so I question the wisdom of blogging. I have a tendency to overshare about my emotions on here when I'm not keeping myself in check!

I'm sure that most of you will have heard about this over the weekend:

Source

And yes...my husband was on one of the submarines involved in the cruise missile strikes on Libya. ( For official releases go here, here and here.)

I've had one heck of a week actually. Since last Tuesday there has been a pretty much constant stream of information about my husbands boat that has been at times...really confusing and inconsistent ( I may have mentioned that in my previous post).

I'm still a pretty green navy wife, obviously. :) This is our first deployment, and is a HUGE learning experience. My husband's boat is slowly meandering their way back home. We've endured months of a very lonely separation, and could not be more excited for it to just be over! So when news reports started popping up about my husbands boat being "diverted" to Libya, naturally little warning bells started ringing in my head. I knew Libya was in turmoil...heck, I've been watching that whole region since the riots in Egypt broke out! It seemed however that things were going to stay just quiet enough for my husbands boat to make it home on time...until this week!

I heard the initial report, and called the Ombudsman. Nothing had changed, just a hyped up media. Okay, that's cool. Settled. Two days later, they call an " EMERGENCY MEETING". Uh hmm. I attempt to not spend the rest of the day running the worst case scenarios in my head only to get to the meeting and be told "Nothing has changed, just a hyped up media." Me thinks thou dost protest too much. However, even feeling like the meeting was a little odd and uncalled for, I took what was said seriously and tried very hard to put the whole thing out of my mind. I mean...I have a homecoming to plan for! And I haven't even decided what I'm going to wear yet!

Two days after that ....we're freaking bombing Libya. And once again, my husbands boat is plastered all over the news.

Miraculously, in the time since then they have transmitted emails twice. Bless this Command for that! And those emails included one from the COB stating that they were still running on schedule. I think, however, the coming weeks are going to see a lot of tense Navy wives in my area praying, and watching the news religiously, for any hint of change.

This whole experience has taught me a bit more about OPSEC. I mean, on here I am as vague as I can possibly be. Most of you still don't even know which of those submarines my husband is actually on. I know not to post on Facebook ( I actually RARELY use Facebook so that's a non issue) and all of that jazz. That's what OPSEC has meant to me until this week.

But now I understand the lengths to which the military must go to protect OPSEC. Obviously they knew. Operations like the one this weekend don't just happen over night. And obviously something, somewhere, got leaked ( hence the reporting almost a week in advance) And that fact alone SCARES THE CRAP out of me. Not to mention the fact that my husband was involved in a highly publicized military operation...that's a whole new level of anxiety.

So I'm in this weird...1/2 grateful, 1/2 upset limbo of how I feel this situation was handled with the families. I TOTALLY get why they couldn't say anything to us. I really really do. They couldn't just come out and say " Well...yeah, actually, we're gonna bomb Libya in 2 days." But on the other hand, all of that " We care about you families, and that's why we give you all of this privileged information" is ringing a little hollow to me right now. That really is just something they tell you so you don't fly off the deep end and they have to send one of their valuable assets home to pick up the pieces.

I'm really going to miss my rose colored glasses....

"The Twighlight Zone"

I can't tell you how many blogs I have read that have some version of " I hate drama..." in there somewhere. Do you think it is just a natural propensity of bloggers? You have to dislike drama, because otherwise you'd make a bad blogger? Perhaps that's true...I think blogging takes a fair amount of introspection, and a knowing of oneself. People who start drama, I feel, typically are too involved in the creation of all that to really delve into themselves that much.

This is one of those " I hate drama" posts. And it's true, I do. I try not to start drama, I try even harder not to be involved in other people's drama. Both Skunky and I feel this way. Except for an occasional rant ( I have been known to have moments of TMI on here ;P) We keep to ourselves. Our business is our own...and we don't really care to know all of  yours either.

This week has felt like an episode straight out of the Twighlight Zone. My kids have been nuts....Piglet is teething like crazy, and all sorts of cranky about it ( Poor guy. I feel for you I do but...really? With the incessant high pitched screaming? ALL DAY? Mommy's brain is seriously about to leak out of her burst eardrums...) And darling Pollyanna...I miss the sweet natured little girl that took your place last week. Can we have her back? Please? Pretty Please?

Add to that some disturbing...but completely incorrect...press about my husbands boat ( both in the paper and on TV) that was enough to give me a near heart attack ( I had no idea that the media could report something so wrong as the honest-to-God's truth! Seriously people, do not believe everything you read/hear!) And then an 'emergency' boat meeting about said media. Of course they didn't tell you that when you got the call about the meeting, so I spent all day wondering what in the crap had gone wrong! Only to get there and be told "don't believe everything you hear/read" ( Duh! Figured that out earlier in the week!)

And to top it all off, tonight...a committee meeting. Now, I signed up to be on this committee when the boys left, knowing I was going to be away for most of the deployment. I figured they wouldn't really need me until the end anyway. The committee chair kept me updated while I was out there, and I have been able to do a few things, but this was my first official meeting. The girls seemed really nice, and very excited about the tasks the committee was assigned. And this is where the drama comes in...apparently there is some bad blood between the committee chair and some former committee members, and I was about to be versed in all of that bad blood, if it wasn't for some other very sweet committee member who change the subject ASAP. ( thank you, you sweet sweet girl!)

The reason this pertains to me was, I had sat with the former committee member at the emergency meeting. I'm gonna give the benefit of the doubt to the committee chair, that perhaps she's trying to 'save' me from all of the trouble she has gone through. What she doesn't know is, this person who she dislikes so much, was one of only two women who befriended me when we first got to the boat over two years ago. She and her husband have been in the Navy a lot longer then Skunky and I, and she has been there to guide me through all of the chaos that comes with being married to a deployed submariner. She has only barely alluded to some difficulties she has had with the committee chair, but has really taken the position of " Jenn, you're a big girl and you can make your own judgments about people." I wish that I could trust the committee chair would do the same, and leave their problems between them.

I'm nervous now, to be involved with the committee, because you know the more I go the harder its going to be to dodge the conversation she so obviously wants to share with me. I would have to stand up and say " Hey, that's my friend , and I don't want to be involved in this" which wouldn't be hard but...lol I'd probably earn myself an enemy. We're SO close to the end it's insane...and I've made it almost the entire deployment without being involved in all of the navy wife drama...can I make it just this last little bit??

Honestly....I don't know. Lets pray that I can. :)

You add children into the equation and...

So...two year olds are interesting creatures. They can bring you to tears laughing...Pollyanna insists on clinking 'glasses' ( or sippy cups!) every time we sit down at the table, and with everyone there. Seeing my 37 year old brother 'clinking' his soda can with her sippy at dinner tonight was pretty awesome! They can also make you want to pull out your hair with how naughty and stubborn they are! ( 1-2-3 Magic is a MIRACLE book!!! Anyone dealing with a two year old needs to read it!!)

And then they freak you out with how observant they are. My SIL blogged today about her 5 year old here, and an awkward moment she had with him over breastfeeding his little brother. And it got me to thinking...Pollyanna's Grandfather comes home from work at 5 to 6pm every day, and always gives Grammy a kiss and a hug when he comes home. Lately, Pollyanna has decided that she needs to get in on that, and any time that my parents show affection to one another, she's right in there, holding Papa's hand, trying to squeeze in between their hugs, staring up at them wide-eyed as they kiss. My mom says that she thinks it's cute. Really...and I'm probably a horrible parent for feeling this way...but it kind of embarrasses me! Not because of her actions, I'm mean she's only 2!! But it makes me wonder...holy, what is she gonna be like when Skunky comes home??

I mean...my kids have not seen me be THAT kind of affectionate with anyone since their dad left. And Skunky and I...I don't think it's exactly occurred to us that she would ever get to the point where she would notice that. So...Skunky isn't exactly...inhibited, we'll say :)...around her. But now she's catching on! and I'm wondering....how weird is this gonna be?

Obviously...just when you're getting comfortable parenting...the child up and grows on you! It's just wrong. :)

Has anyone out there dealt with a similar situation? How did you deal?

Perhaps I'm crazy... :)

I'm really looking forward to getting home. For those of you who don't know...I've been visiting my family in UT for the bulk of my husbands deployment. But the time to go home is now here. I've got just under 3 weeks and we'll be back on the East Coast. I'm excited because there is a lot I'd like to do get ready for Skunky to come home. But once we get passed all of that, I'm also excited because I'm determined to make this for Pollyanna's 3rd birthday:

(Go here to see ALL of the pictures, this girl did an AMAZING job)

And I'm also going to make lot of this stuff to go with it:

( Visit this girl's Etsy shop here . She's pretty amazing...if I don't end up being cool enough to make it you can bet I'll be buying hers!!)

I'm a little ambitions ( possibly crazy!) huh? I've been thinking about doing this for probably the last year...and I really think I'm going to do it this year. I'll keep you posted! Wish me luck!

Something I did NOT expect...

So I have a weird question.

I'm sure this happens more then I would even want to know...I mean obviously, I don't think you can be a military spouse without hearing all of the horror stories. But this actually hit me today in a way that it never has before. And I had like a mini panic attack this morning about it...

Do couples really split up after deployment??

I started thinking about this because one of the blogs I read somewhat infrequently announced that her and her newly returned from deployment husband ( it's been like 5 weeks) are splitting up. Basically the reasoning is...they've both changed too much during the deployment.

And that's the kicker that hit me into a tailspin for a few moments. OF COURSE you change during deployment! You're both experiencing different things and growing from them. But can you really change so much that the bond you had before deployment is severed?

I had to take a moment and re-evaluate Skunky's and my relationship for a minute. I feel like we prepared for "reintegration". We had conversations where we talked about what each of us is expecting might happen when he gets home. And that was just before deployment. Each time I have heard his sweet voice, each time we've been able to Skype, each sweet email since he has been gone has just been a reconfirmation of how much we really do love each other.

I am so thankful for my sister-in-law...we fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but she is the my go to girl when I need a sounding board. I told her I was freaking out about this, and she basically just said to me " Jen...are you kidding? You and Skunky are INSANE for each other ( I think we actully make her puke in her mouth sometimes ;)) Sure things are going to be different. You've been apart from each other for MONTHS! And yeah it'll be a little awkward at first, but then you will settle and life will be what you remember. STOP FREAKING OUT!"

I guess I just wasn't expecting this...nervousness. I've still got a decent amount of time before Skunky returns. But we're over the half-way point ( hopefully...Still got my eyes on Egypt) and on the downward slope. And what used to be extreme longing is turning into crazy " Holy crap, he's almost back!" nervousness!! Is this normal, people? :)

Anyway...so I've had another freak out moment. How do you deal when the crazy sharks start stirring in your head?

And PS- in case you were wondering, that awesome SIL is blogging about her new adventures in crazy Alaska!! She's a very entertaining read, check her out: Roughing it in Alaska

Craftin' around...

Recently, Christina over at Married to a Sailor had this really interesting post titled " The best thing about my Husband being deployed." I was fascinated by her openness actually! And I really appreciated her positive attitude, her ability to find the bright side of a crappy situation. I thought to myself..." gee, I wish that I could remain that positive during deployment!" because honestly, I've had a pretty hard time ( at moments!) being able to see deployment as a good thing. Perhaps I can give myself a little bit of slack because this is my first one, and it's a learning curve. And I really do appreciate how hard Skunky is working to keep our family afloat. ( hehehe..cause we're Navy :) okay I'm done! ) And I know that he loves us and misses us terribly. Sometimes though...the separation really does just suck. And no amount of positive thinking can change that.

I have found something that helps A LOT though, to pass the time, to make myself feel good. And that is...crafting. Here are a few things I have made/finished this week:



A garment bag for my Temple dress. It folds up into a shoulder bag for easy transport. I'm super proud of this one because I didn't use a pattern AT ALL! I still have a few cute finishing touches ( like buttons) to add.


My brother's Christmas gift finished!


A "roll" holder for my knitting needles.

Around Christmas time I was a crazy, craftin' momma! My sister-in-law and I made this list:

9 crochet winter hats
1 crochet blanket ( same as my brother's above)
1 set of 3 pencil bags
1 large craft bag
1 large diaper bag
6 therapeutic rice packs
2 wallets
2 travel wallets
1 crochet Barbie dress

There is possibly more that I am not remembering right now. And granted...I have been at my parent's house, so all I've had to worry about are my kids and my crafts. ( no house work!! But don't get me wrong...they're A LOT of work! We're on our 2nd round of ear infections in 4 months! There must be something in the water here!)

I guess the point of all this is...yeah, I know my attitude is pretty crappy sometimes when it comes to deployment. I would hope that people would understand that it's really just coming from my desperate loneliness without Skunky. He is my whole world, and it's so much dimmer here without him. BUT...there are ways to get through it. Mine happens to be working my fingers to the bone. :) But I've acquired some new skills, and expanded talents I had previous to deployment. So, there is something positive to come out of all this. Once I open my eyes to find it!

Thank you

Well...hahaha....I got unexpected response to my "comeback" post. I really do appreciate any of those who chose to read my blog....both those who comment and those who don't. I hope I didn't sound as if I was ungrateful for my readers. I think anyone who chooses to write a blog appreciates ANY person ( be it close family, friend, or virtual stranger) who takes the time to read their thoughts in the world. I was just putting down in words the nervousness I feel when I go to publish a post, particularly on this blog. I'm not sure that nervousness will ever go away...but at least you know it's not enough to stop me from writing. Because...well if it was, I wouldn't be here. :)

Along with that though...I've put some thought into how I want to move forward with this. LOL...I'm not sure about any one else, but for me...blogging has been a part of my life off and on since I got married 3 1/2 years ago. My first blog was started strictly as a log for my family on my goings on, because of course, the military had taken me very far away from them. I was sporadic at best with that blog, but as the years went by I found other interests ( like crafting and fitness) that I wanted to put out there in world and pretty soon I had 4 different blogs on my dashboard, none which I kept up with as diligently as they deserved.

I think one of my sister-in-laws put it best. When she saw that I had updated my military blog, she showed some of the same reservations she had before. When I asked her to clarify, she said to me " Jen, it's not that I mind that you've updated your military blog. It's just that I wish you would update you family one too." And I think that really is the crux of the matter for me. I think I was trying to compartmentalize all of the different aspects of my life. But if there is anything I have learned during this deployment so far...it's that, it's alright to have limitations. AND I can be a mom and a crafter, a military wife and an author all at the same time.

I'm probably getting a little too introspective. :) In any case, I've decided to have one blog that can incorporate ALL the various aspects of my life. I think it'll be MUCH more enjoyable to write, and to read for that matter.

Any way, I really did want to thank you all for the show of support on my last post. I hope you all will continue reading, and enjoy what I know will be a crazy glimpse into my life as I grow and learn and hopefully become a better person. :)

until next time,

Tuesday and then some...

Alright! This week's top 10 is: Ten things I'm excited to do on leave this weekend!!

1) Spend HOURS in the car driving to our destination. No really...I AM excited about this. :) My mom always said that she loved long drives with my dad because it was the most concentrated time they got together...to talk, enjoy music together, just be in each others presence... and I couldn't agree more!
2) Be endlessly quizzed by the Hubs about songs and bands on the radio. My husband is a POP CULTURE JUNKIE!! Movies, music, books, it doesn't matter what it is, he is the best source of useless knowledge on the planet. And since we've been married, it's been his habit to quiz me on what I know about music when we're in the car. And honestly, there is nothing more satisfying then answering a question correctly that he didn't expect me to!
3) Seeing the Hubs proudly showing off our beautiful children to all his friends and family. Most of the people we will be seeing are my husbands friends and extended family. He's such a proud Daddy, it really is a pleasure for me to see how proud he is of the children we created together.
4) A Lime Ricky. Never had one, but the Hubs used to get one every year at the Clam festival when he was a kid. It'll be something fun to share. :)
5) Riding the Ferris wheel. Actually, I'm terrified of heights. But I enjoy being stranded high in the air with the Hubs holding me tight, snickering at how foolish I am. Pshhh, I know he enjoys it just as much as I do!
6) Waking up next to the Hubs for 6 consecutive days. It's the little things in life. :) Even in port he's got duty every 3 to 4 days, so I go to bed/wake up alone 2 or 3 times a week anyway.
7) Not having to worry about house work.
8) Actually feeling like a civilian for a couple of days. Even though technically I AM a civilian, as it's my husband who is in the Navy, there is very little of my life that isn't touched in some way by the military...
9) Being away from our military town for a couple of days. This goes hand in hand with # 8.
10) Having another set of hands to help with the kids for a couple of days. I LOVE my children, but...they're a lot of work. I'm SUPER looking forward to having someone there to fix Pollyanna's lunch while I feed Piglet, instead of having to let one or the other cry for a few minutes while I get their sibling set!

I know I know...mostly things about the Hubs. Really I'm just feeling the need to enjoy every minute I have with him this week, because it's not too much longer and we'll be thousands of miles away from each other, relying on spotty e-mails and infrequent internet access to stay connected to each other. So needless to say, I think it's gonna be silent around these parts for a few days, but I'll be back next week to give you the high lights....and maybe even have a few pictures if I'm on the ball!

Also...I really just wanted to thank everyone who commented on my last post, I appreciate you reading, and for those of you who don't comment...I appreciate you reading as well! Don't be shy forever though, I love hearing from all y'all!

And on another side note...I hit 20 followers yesterday and I'm stoked :) ( thank you Mis-Adventures!) Small I know...but even a little accomplishment needs to be celebrated! I'm thinking of perhaps holding a give-away to show my appreciation to all my readers when I hit 25 followers. Or perhaps 50....think I should hold out until I hit 50?? What would you do?

until next time,

On a need to know basis...

So the Hubs FINALLY made it home Wednesday night...YAAAAAAAAAY! Wednesday was a bit of a stressfull day for me actually... most of my own making, but still. :)

So far this command has been pretty good at getting us information about when the boat comes in so I've been able to go down and watch the boat come down the river and make myself feel better, as well it allows me time to get myself in order mentally and physically for our reunion. But, also...it's not uncommon for this command to not notify us a change was made during and underway that would keep them from coming in on schedule...really it's been just like anything in this military life of mine, and I need to constantly remind myself that NOTHING is predictable, and to expect things to be changed from what I was told.

So when I heard nothing on Tuesday about the boat coming in, I assumed that for whatever reason it wasn't coming in on time and to not expect them until probably Thursday. Of course that put me in a funk all day Wednesday....lol who am I kidding, I was P.O.ed!! And I got more and more mad as the day progressed and I still hadn't heard anything about the boat coming in.

Well bedtime for the munchkins rolled around, I got Pollyanna all settled, and went to get Piglet out of his crib ( he plays there with his mobile while I get his sister in bed) and his crib is right by a window that has a view up the street to a house where another family from our boat lives. And I happened to glance out the window just as that family was all getting into their car to go out somewhere...including their Sailor.

I stopped dead in my tracks as my heart skipped a beat. I thought back over the last 30 days...did he just not go with with boat and I missed it?? I was pretty sure I hadn't seen him the whole time, and his truck had been parked in the same place it's usually parked when they go on underways....so why was he home and I hadn't heard anything from the Hubs yet?!?!

I took a moment to compose myself, and then made a decision to call one of the only other wives I know on the boat. I would have called the FRG or ombudsman, but unfortunately, both are somewhat unreliable, so I try to use those as a last resort. Their son answered the phone and told me that she was unavilable at the moment, so he took a message for me and we hung up. 'Of course she's unavailable!' I thought to myself.' The freaking boat is home, and everyone has heard from their husbands except me!'

As I was standing their debating my next move, honestly... trying to fight back tears, my phone rings. It's the Hubs, and he wants me to come pick him up.

Well I did, and after a frustrated rant about how SOME ONE should have informed me that the boat was in, and why the heck didn't he take 5 minutes (like he usually does) to call and let me know the boat was in, why the HECK did I have to figure it out by SPYING on my neighbors for goodness sake!...we got home, settled down, and were able to enjoy an evening and the full next day of blissful reunion.

So now we have several weeks together ( including some leave next week which I am STOKED for!!) before the crazy pre-deployment work-up starts. Awesome.

until next time,

Top 10 Tuesday

Ha...I want to post more but I find myself at a slight lack of things to post sometimes! Not that my life isn't totally crazy and hectic....cause it is :)

No need to bring that to the bloggy world just yet, I mean we are just getting to know each other! :)

So I guess I'm planning on following a structure on certain days ( like Tuesdays and Fridays)so that I can at least get two posts in a week...and probably 3 because there is always at least one subject I want to rant about on any given week!

Today is "Top Ten Tuesday" and my top ten for the week is this: ten things I PRAY I can get accomplished before the Hubs is deployed!

1. His care package. I'm not really certain how care packages work for a deployment on a sub, but from what I've heard and can understand, sending one out each month is pretty fruitless because you never know when or where a Sub is going to be in port to get their mail. It may be months before they're able to track it down...so, I've decided I want to put a package together he can take with him that's got something special he can open each month to let him know we miss him and are always thinking of him. I've got some great idea's...it's now all about finding the time...
2. Getting our stuff packed and moved into storage. We're moving in with my parents for deployment, cause I have no desire to be with 2 children 2 and under halfway across the country with no support system. NO THANK YOU!! So we'll be moving out of military housing and into storage...
3.Fix our piece of crap POA. I've had slight drama with my POA this underway, you can read about it here. Hopefully my husband can get the time off so we can go correct this issue before he leaves...
4. Get a different cell phone. I actually just 'upgraded' to the Env Touch like 3 months ago, which I thought was going to be an awesome phone...and it's not. It constantly has problems like shutting off for no reason, the touch screen often goes blank or doesn't work, it drops call all the time, particularly if I'm holding it between my ear and shoulder while I chase after my toddler (even after having the software updated!)...seriously I'd go back to my dinosaur of a cell phone any day then deal with the stress of this one. I'd LOVE Verizon if they could at least refund the money we paid for this piece of junk...
5. Potty train Pollyanna. This I'm not sure is a realistic goal, we've only got a few months before we move out with my parents and even though I think she is showing signs of being ready, there is going to be a lot going on and I'm not sure that I will be able to give it the attention I know it's going to need. What do you think? Should I go for it??
6. Have Piglet on a nap schedule...finally! I guess I can't complain much, the boy does sleep from 830 at night to anywhere between 430 and 630 am...better a baby who sleeps at night then during the day right??
7. Have at least ONE date night with the Hubs before he leaves. This so SO much harder to accomplish with young children then one might think...
8. Trade in our dinky Matrix for an Oddessy. Hopefully this will happen this month, not that the Matrix doesn't hold me and the kids just fine for now, we know that we want more kids, so it only makes sense to trade in now while the Matrix still is worth something. Plus...driving across country with 2 kids in that car??? That's crazy talk!
9. Finish Pollyanna's quiet book. I'm making a quiet book for the girl, so we can hopefully make it through church without a major temper tantrum. I'm uber ambitious with it though...I've only got 2 1/2 pages out of 24 completed. They don't take long to make, but I want it to be really cute and durable so it can last through several children. I really would like to have it done before we move in with my parents and I have to worry about my child terrorizing a whole new Ward...
10. Actually make it to the rest of the book club meetings before I move. I was kind of absent from my book club for a couple of months at the end of Piglets pregnancy, but there are several other wives from our boat that go, and I really like them a lot and would like to have a connection with them before I move. PLUS, they usually choose great books, and to actually read again on a regular basis would be heaven!

Well there you have it...weird to put it all down in a list like that. I had no idea I wanted to accomplish so much...I think I must be crazy! :)

until next time,

Port Calls are hard....

Man I'm a baby...even as I write this I feel a sense of being ashamed of myself. The Hubs had a port call this weekend, and it was so WONDERFUL to be in semi-constant contact with him for a solid three days. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if he was here, at home with me.

I always have a weird reaction to port calls. I LOVE talking to him, and I love the fact that it usually means the bulk of an underway is behind us. But I always get the same depressed feeling after he leave the port and goes back under the sea again, limiting our contact to infrequent e-mails once more. It's almost as bad as when he leaves after being home for a while. It scares me actually for deployment....the emotional up and downs of going from frequent contact to none, they are really....really hard.

The worst part is that....I KNOW that I'm being a whiner and should be grateful that I even get contact with him. I watched 20/20 last night and one of their stories was about a platoon in Afghanistan that took heavy casualties about a year ago. 9 soldiers didn't come home from that deployment. And I read a blog of a poor woman who has lost her husband just this last year. It breaks my heart to read about her personal suffering. They have a 7 month old daughter that her husband never got to meet. I hear about these stories, and seriously...I can't help but think ' that could be you, Jen.'

But it isn't. My husband is alive and well. And yes we spend a TON of time apart, but that's what you expect in the military. So even KNOWING that my life isn't that bad, and I have a TON to be grateful for...I still can't fight the loneliness sometimes.

I'm getting more and more nervous for deployment by the day. We have so little time left...what am I going to do with myself while he is gone?? I mean....I have plans. I'm going to go live with my parents....my children are young, and there is nothing that ties me here. Why stay half a continent away from people who love me and want to support me and my children while my husband is away? But I mean....the day to day struggling is what I worry about. Even being around my Mommy and Daddy isn't going to take away the pain that comes when half of my self is gone with him. I have really good days. But...most days are just okay. And some days are awful.

Today is an awful day.

until next time

You know you're a submarine wife if...

Well, we've made it past the halfway point of this underway, and the boat pulled into a port this weekend so I've had the opportunity to talk to the Hubs several times on the phone, and I have to say, it's been a relief just to hear his voice!!

I'll admit I was a little frustrated with him the first time that he called...he was distracted because of trying to get a room at the Navy Lodge and having gotten some time off the boat for the first time in two weeks. And my husband has the attention span of a two-year old and can only focus on one thing at a time. On top of that he really prefers talking about certain things in private when we talk on the phone, which I TOTALLY understand...I was just having one of those moments where I wanted to say to him " Honey, I've had one hell of a two week period here, and if you can't talk then you shouldn't have called!!" Which is totally bullcrap, I would have been really disappointed if he hadn't called until hours after he'd been in port. :) I just missed him and really wanted his attention...I'm needy, it's true.

And seriously....it had been crazy for me since he's been gone. I mean...obviously, two kids are more work then one but...it's like with anything else about being a parent, you really DON'T know, until you've experiences it yourself! My sister jokes around about Piglet being a "walking pharmacy" and seriously, with all the issues he's had in the last two weeks, it really feels like it! On top of that, we're trying to work out some major issues that need to be taken care of before deployment, and there is only so much time before he's gone and it doesn't feel like we're going to be able to fit everything in!

I've been following this group on facebook called "Submarine Wives" and they've had this running joke they keep posting of " you know you're a submarine wife if..." and a couple have really struck a cord with me;

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SUBMARINERS WIFE IF:

* You've stayed awake during the mid watch to talk to your husband on
the phone. ( I'm doing this one tonight as a matter of fact! :) )

* You have told a creditor "No, really, I don't have power of attorney because he had to work every day until O dark thirty for 6 weeks prior to this deployment but if you want your money you better tell me what the problem is".

I dealt with the second one this underway actually. Well not that scenario in particular, but the horrible realization that the POA we have is pretty much worthless...I can't even change internet carriers with it. So number one priority when he gets back?? Get a better fricking POA!!

Anyway...so that's my military life in a nutshell lately. Don't worry...there'll be plenty more drama where that came from!

Until next time,