On a need to know basis...

So the Hubs FINALLY made it home Wednesday night...YAAAAAAAAAY! Wednesday was a bit of a stressfull day for me actually... most of my own making, but still. :)

So far this command has been pretty good at getting us information about when the boat comes in so I've been able to go down and watch the boat come down the river and make myself feel better, as well it allows me time to get myself in order mentally and physically for our reunion. But, also...it's not uncommon for this command to not notify us a change was made during and underway that would keep them from coming in on schedule...really it's been just like anything in this military life of mine, and I need to constantly remind myself that NOTHING is predictable, and to expect things to be changed from what I was told.

So when I heard nothing on Tuesday about the boat coming in, I assumed that for whatever reason it wasn't coming in on time and to not expect them until probably Thursday. Of course that put me in a funk all day Wednesday....lol who am I kidding, I was P.O.ed!! And I got more and more mad as the day progressed and I still hadn't heard anything about the boat coming in.

Well bedtime for the munchkins rolled around, I got Pollyanna all settled, and went to get Piglet out of his crib ( he plays there with his mobile while I get his sister in bed) and his crib is right by a window that has a view up the street to a house where another family from our boat lives. And I happened to glance out the window just as that family was all getting into their car to go out somewhere...including their Sailor.

I stopped dead in my tracks as my heart skipped a beat. I thought back over the last 30 days...did he just not go with with boat and I missed it?? I was pretty sure I hadn't seen him the whole time, and his truck had been parked in the same place it's usually parked when they go on underways....so why was he home and I hadn't heard anything from the Hubs yet?!?!

I took a moment to compose myself, and then made a decision to call one of the only other wives I know on the boat. I would have called the FRG or ombudsman, but unfortunately, both are somewhat unreliable, so I try to use those as a last resort. Their son answered the phone and told me that she was unavilable at the moment, so he took a message for me and we hung up. 'Of course she's unavailable!' I thought to myself.' The freaking boat is home, and everyone has heard from their husbands except me!'

As I was standing their debating my next move, honestly... trying to fight back tears, my phone rings. It's the Hubs, and he wants me to come pick him up.

Well I did, and after a frustrated rant about how SOME ONE should have informed me that the boat was in, and why the heck didn't he take 5 minutes (like he usually does) to call and let me know the boat was in, why the HECK did I have to figure it out by SPYING on my neighbors for goodness sake!...we got home, settled down, and were able to enjoy an evening and the full next day of blissful reunion.

So now we have several weeks together ( including some leave next week which I am STOKED for!!) before the crazy pre-deployment work-up starts. Awesome.

until next time,

Port Calls are hard....

Man I'm a baby...even as I write this I feel a sense of being ashamed of myself. The Hubs had a port call this weekend, and it was so WONDERFUL to be in semi-constant contact with him for a solid three days. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if he was here, at home with me.

I always have a weird reaction to port calls. I LOVE talking to him, and I love the fact that it usually means the bulk of an underway is behind us. But I always get the same depressed feeling after he leave the port and goes back under the sea again, limiting our contact to infrequent e-mails once more. It's almost as bad as when he leaves after being home for a while. It scares me actually for deployment....the emotional up and downs of going from frequent contact to none, they are really....really hard.

The worst part is that....I KNOW that I'm being a whiner and should be grateful that I even get contact with him. I watched 20/20 last night and one of their stories was about a platoon in Afghanistan that took heavy casualties about a year ago. 9 soldiers didn't come home from that deployment. And I read a blog of a poor woman who has lost her husband just this last year. It breaks my heart to read about her personal suffering. They have a 7 month old daughter that her husband never got to meet. I hear about these stories, and seriously...I can't help but think ' that could be you, Jen.'

But it isn't. My husband is alive and well. And yes we spend a TON of time apart, but that's what you expect in the military. So even KNOWING that my life isn't that bad, and I have a TON to be grateful for...I still can't fight the loneliness sometimes.

I'm getting more and more nervous for deployment by the day. We have so little time left...what am I going to do with myself while he is gone?? I mean....I have plans. I'm going to go live with my parents....my children are young, and there is nothing that ties me here. Why stay half a continent away from people who love me and want to support me and my children while my husband is away? But I mean....the day to day struggling is what I worry about. Even being around my Mommy and Daddy isn't going to take away the pain that comes when half of my self is gone with him. I have really good days. But...most days are just okay. And some days are awful.

Today is an awful day.

until next time

You know you're a submarine wife if...

Well, we've made it past the halfway point of this underway, and the boat pulled into a port this weekend so I've had the opportunity to talk to the Hubs several times on the phone, and I have to say, it's been a relief just to hear his voice!!

I'll admit I was a little frustrated with him the first time that he called...he was distracted because of trying to get a room at the Navy Lodge and having gotten some time off the boat for the first time in two weeks. And my husband has the attention span of a two-year old and can only focus on one thing at a time. On top of that he really prefers talking about certain things in private when we talk on the phone, which I TOTALLY understand...I was just having one of those moments where I wanted to say to him " Honey, I've had one hell of a two week period here, and if you can't talk then you shouldn't have called!!" Which is totally bullcrap, I would have been really disappointed if he hadn't called until hours after he'd been in port. :) I just missed him and really wanted his attention...I'm needy, it's true.

And seriously....it had been crazy for me since he's been gone. I mean...obviously, two kids are more work then one but...it's like with anything else about being a parent, you really DON'T know, until you've experiences it yourself! My sister jokes around about Piglet being a "walking pharmacy" and seriously, with all the issues he's had in the last two weeks, it really feels like it! On top of that, we're trying to work out some major issues that need to be taken care of before deployment, and there is only so much time before he's gone and it doesn't feel like we're going to be able to fit everything in!

I've been following this group on facebook called "Submarine Wives" and they've had this running joke they keep posting of " you know you're a submarine wife if..." and a couple have really struck a cord with me;

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A SUBMARINERS WIFE IF:

* You've stayed awake during the mid watch to talk to your husband on
the phone. ( I'm doing this one tonight as a matter of fact! :) )

* You have told a creditor "No, really, I don't have power of attorney because he had to work every day until O dark thirty for 6 weeks prior to this deployment but if you want your money you better tell me what the problem is".

I dealt with the second one this underway actually. Well not that scenario in particular, but the horrible realization that the POA we have is pretty much worthless...I can't even change internet carriers with it. So number one priority when he gets back?? Get a better fricking POA!!

Anyway...so that's my military life in a nutshell lately. Don't worry...there'll be plenty more drama where that came from!

Until next time,

Tough Week

Oh goodness...

I wanted to update over a week ago, but every time that I sat down to write it didn't sound right to me, or my toddler was having some crisis that needed my attention, or the baby needed to be fed...the list went on , and then my mom left to go back to her home with the only working internet in my house at the time ( our personal internet had been out for almost 2 weeks, but she brought her nifty Verizon Mobile internet device so I didn't worry about it.) so then I had a week of waiting around for the ATT people to get out here and fix the phone line...anyway, we got it fixed two days ago, and of course its only now that I have found time to sit down and update...go figure :)

This week has felt like the longest week of my life. The Hubs left for an underway a week ago yesterday, and it was pretty darn hard to let him go. I'm getting so nervous for deployment...it's funny, I finally got around to reading the FRG newsletter last week and there was a letter from our Captain and he made a comment about how it may seem a bit early to be talking about it, but we're getting ready for deployment so he'll be at the next FRG meeting to talk some stuff over. And I thought to my self....early to talk about deployment? It's only about four months away! And a little less than 3 of those months are going to be spent underway anyway!

On top of the Hubs leaving, my family who had been visiting took off last Sunday. So this week has been me and the two yahoos by myself. And it's been trying...we've all been sick with some nasty cold, as well as Polyanna having a persistent ear infection, and Piglet dealing with reflux...not pleasant at all. I had a moment this week at the Naval Health Clinic, after dealing with a fussy baby the last two days I called the Dr. to get him in, and I was there with my active toddler and a screaming baby, I hadn't showered for 3 days, had gotten about 10 hours sleep in a 48 hour period, and by the way that people were looking at me, and the fact that two VERY kind people offered to help me in some way, I knew I was THAT woman.

You know...the woman you see somewhere in public, hands full of contrary children, so obviously worn down to the end of her rope, you're pretty sure she might just break down into tears if some one doesn't step in fast? Yes...I was that woman.

And of course, even after all of that, I was still insane enough to go with a friend to this man-made lake on base and attempt to keep my almost two-year-old from drowning herself while holding my 8 week old in my arms, cursing myself for not putting sunscreen on him and praying that his fair skin doesn't crisp in a matter of minutes like his fathers does.

And the SILLIEST thing is, that's the whole reason I went to the lake today! Because I knew how much the Hubs LOVES to go there, and I wanted to be able to write to him and tell him about our fun day at the lake, and how we can't wait until he gets home so we can all go together!

I will never do that alone again.

At least I've learned my limits. :)

In any case...lol you've probably figured by now that I've had a tough week. Sorry to vent about it. :) I promise my next post will be about something WAY more chipper!

until next time,

He's Home Again!

Well I made it! I made it through my first underway with two kids!! It was only a little one-weeker, and I actually think it went pretty smoothly. I wasn't NEARLY as emotional as I had been all of Duder's pregnancy. It did drag a little bit more then I was expecting it to with the added chores a newborn brings, and I definitely was feeling it the last couple of days...mostly just tired and lonely. Not "kill myself" lonely....more like "angry that you're gone" lonely. At least I can function decently through the anger :)

It's funny though... I'm reminded of a post I read here not too long ago about looking forward to a homecoming. I think, especially for Navy wifes, this applies for all of the underways, whether it be an actual deployment or not. I totally spent the last two days of the underway dreaming about how our meeting would be. We were actually hoping he would have duty the day that they got in, so that would allow him to have the weekend off, as my parents and sister and her kids are coming in this weekend ( As it is he has duty today so... he still gets saturday and sunday so...yay! even though he only got to come home for a few hours and then return to the boat for another 24 hours ::sigh::) . So I saw myself dropping the kids off at a babysitter while I went down to the pier and hugged and kissed my beloved one, and then we spent and hour to and hour and 1/2 catching up and making out on the pier somewhere dark and secluded behind some random large piece of machinery that I have no idea what it's used for. :)

Want to know how it actually happened? I spent the day helping a friend who had an emergency and needed a little support. We didn't get home until and hour before Crazy Girl's bedtime, and I still hadn't heard a word from the Hubs as to whether or not they had actually made it into port. And I DESPERATELY needed to hear something from him at this point because of the emotionally draining day that I had had. So we got home, my oldest decided to spill an entire bottle of water over herself and my couch, while the baby screamed in his car seat to bed fed. So I did a quick clean up of the couch and stripped Crazy Girl down to her diaper, put on a movie to keep her occupied, and then settled down to feed Duder. We made it through the feeding just in time to get a knock at the door from a magazine salesman AWESOME! :/I have a hard time saying no to those guys without atleast hearing their story, so there I was, standing at my door trying to burb a baby with my naked toddler running around crazy in the background or tryin to escape out the semi-open front door when the Hubs drives up! He clamors out of his car, seabag on his back, COVERED in dirt and grime and Crazy Girl goes BALLISTIC to see him! She escapes out the front door in nothing but her diaper and runs across the yard and practically into the street to see her dad. Of course, the Hubs has this weird aversion to picking her up while he's all dirty from work, so she hugs his legs and asked to be picked up, which he refuses, and she then proceeds to have a full blow tantrum right there on the grass. At this point, Duder is crying cause he can't bring up the burp we've been working on this whole time and he's uncomfortable, and the poor magazine guy is STILL trying to get his plug in. I pass the magazine guy over to the Hubs, while I attempt to get Crazy girl back in the house to finish her tantrum. The Hubs makes quick work of dismissing magazine guy ( THANK THE LORD) and steps into the door to do damage control with the kids. He STILL wont pick Crazy Girl up until he's atleast attempted to clean up a little, so he scoots into the small downstairs bathroom to atleast wash his hands and face. Crazy Girl follows, and gets quickly distracted by the toilet water, which insites a stern yell out of the Hubs to not play with that, which in turn starts ANOTHER tantrum, because the first thing Daddy does after coming home in over a week is yell at her. ::SIGH::

Needless to say, it took and ENTIRE HOUR to get the kids calmed down and in bed before a sense of semi-peace settled over the house and the Hubs and I could actually look at eachother and say " Hi! I'm gad to see you!"

I wonder if this will be one of those times that we look back on years from now, and say " Remember the time when you came home from an underway and all hell broke lose?" I certianly hope so. :)

Until next time,

Lemonade, Anyone?

That's correct...we're still waiting for baby number two to show his wonderful face to the world! In reality I've still got 10 days before my due date, and I don't actually feel like I'm gonna go into labor anytime soon. I only went two days before little L's due date. I guess on the one hand a preggo woman probably always hopes that she'll go a little early...I mean you're just so uncomfortable at the end! And chasing after a one and 1/2 year old, I do have moments when I'm like...alright u can come anytime now! But for the most part, I don't feel nearly as stressed as I did at the end with L. I really do feel like it'll happen when it happens. Actually...(and because I'm putting this into print it won't happen of course!) part of me actually wants to go late and be induced. Just because...with the hubby's schedule being the way that it is, it would really make his life easier if this labor could be a little more...predicatable. If there is such a thing as predictable labor :) I guess we'll see! It's really in Heavenly Father's hands.

This in-port period I have to say, has felt blissful to me, if you want to know the truth. I think part of it is because of my hormonally charged body. And I worried about the hubby a little the first couple of days back...it took him a while to shake off the depression he felt on the last underway, and that made me worried. For anyone who doesn't know him, my hubby is the kind of guy who when given lemons, makes lemonade. I think this time though, on a three week 'diet' of lemons, he shut down his lemonade stand for a few days and decided to just sit in the dark for a while. It was odd for me...he's always the strong one, but that's what marriage is about right? Holding the other up during their time of need...and I guess I did alright cause he's back to normal. :) I think it's actually helped that his boat's galley has been closed for renovation for the last week and 1/2. So we've had the opportunity to go and have lunch with him, and dinner on duty days, pretty much every day. It's been nice to have a daily break with eachother. I'm gonna miss it when the galley is back in working order this week! But then...hopefully we'll get a new baby and get to have even more quality time together. And my good mood can continue for a few more weeks. :)

Until next time,
Jen

I think I'm Bi-polar... :)

It occurred to me today that the new direction that I have decided to take this blog is going to make me look very...bi-polar. :) You'll always be able to tell the duration of my hubby's in-port and underway periods...most likely the in-port posts will be shorter, fewer in frequency, and much more upbeat. Sad that I can already see the trend in myself...

My husband told me he was pretty sure most of the boat probably thought he was bi-polar now, also. :) He said it took nothing to set him off on his last underway, that one minute he would be his usual upbeat self and two seconds later he's be screaming at you about something. I have to say it did bring a little smile to my face for him to tell me this. It really is nice to know that he has as much of a problem being away as I have. Men are so much better at managing ( or hiding perhaps) their true feelings.

Anyway...this last weekend was Sub Ball and we had a great time. It was nice to get dressed up and go to a fancy dinner. Met a lot of people Erick works with, its nice to put faces with names now! We didn't do much dancing...just two slow dances...one, because they didn't start the dancing until like 10 pm, and two, 2 dances was all my hips could take!

Anyway...we didn't take that many pictures...just a few before we went. I brought the camera with me, but I felt a little silly taking pictures during it and looking like a flipping tourist so :) Here's the best of what was taken:

This bottom picture is of us and the Kaze's. We go to church with them and they are our closest friends here. We really feel blessed to have them out here sharing this Navy experience with us!

until next time,
Jen

Kind of busy weekend...

Oh my goodness...I meant to try and get on here and write something Saturday, we had a really good day and I had a lot of pictures I wanted to share! But the weekend was really kind of a whirlwind for me, and I didn't end up having time to get on until now! But here is the re-cap of all the excitement;

The biggest news for Saturday was that my husbands boat returned from an underway, and we couldn't have been more excited to see him! We actually got up and were out the door by 830 am ( you're talking to a mommy who rarely gets dressed before 10 or even 11am if I can help it!) so that we could go down to where the River meets the Sound and watch daddy's boat come in! Of course the boat was delayed an hour because of the heavy fog, but it cleared and we got some great pictures! Here's a teaser:

You can see the rest of our chase of the boat here. We actually ended up meeting a group of several wives I've met from the boat, and it was nice to see them all again! It was fun sitting around waiting to watch the boat with them, because there was really just a general air of excitement around having our husbands home again. It really was fun! :)

Well after that we had a brief break, and then I had my baby shower that afternoon which was also a TON of fun! I love getting together and eating good food, and it was so nice of the women from my church to throw me one! I got a huge amount of stuff, most of it from my family who like to spoil me, and here is a teaser for that:


And you can see the rest of the fun photos of the shower here! :)

So after the shower we came home and relaxed until bedtime for L, and then I had a friend come over and sit in the house while I went down to the boat and had a little quality time with my hubby, because he had duty and so couldn't come home that night.

Easter Sunday dawned, and as soon as my husband got off duty ( and took a quick shower!) we packed the car and headed up to ME to spend the holiday with his mom, and then that night spent it at his dads house in NH so that we could attend Erick's grandfather's memorial service Monday morning. It was a really nice service, his ashes are 'buried' at a Veterans Cemetery in NH, and I was really impressed by how organized and nice the cemetery was. It's a very pleasant place to go and visit, and the overall feeling of the service really wasn't too drab or depressing. It was nice. After wards, we went out to lunch with my husbands extended family and then we headed back to CT to spend the evening on the couch watching a movie before we passed out. :)

It really was a great weekend. I LOVE having my husband home obviously, and to have to concentrated days with him was really great. L was a little bit crazy, having daddy home and all the travel threw her off her schedule, and we all know what kind of havoc that creates in a young child's life. :) I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that. :) I wonder how she is going to do when the new baby comes? Luckily, her dad will have a bit of time off so I won't be dealing with that all on my lonesome!

Until next time,
Jen

FRG, Sub Ball, oh...and life goes on as normal!

Once again...its about a week since my last post! Better track record then my former posting I agree, but not quite up to where I'd like to be. My goal is to post at least twice a week, with hopefully something REALLY interesting and delightful to read! Of course my family and friends are interested in what I write, but they're biased. What about being interesting to other military wives out there who are looking for someone who understands their situation to connect to? That's the audience I'm finding it hard to write to. So then I stall....and get mad at myself for stalling. :) And the circle goes round and round until I finally get my butt on here and post something. It's my process I guess. So maybe I shouldn't complain about it. :)

I miss my husband tonight. Who am I kidding, I miss him desperately every night. But what I mean is...eh...I guess I always have this point mid-way of whatever underway is going at the time that I really just get tired of being alone. (And I assure you, length does not matter! It could be five days, it could be five weeks! I haven't had to deal with five months yet...but, like clockwork, at mid point I get depressed!) It really makes me curious and a little bit nervous about what our looming deployment is going to be like. BUT I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!

I've been getting a lot of emails from our boat FRG lately. (For those of you unfamiliar with the term, FRG stands for Family Readiness Group, and is basically what the Navy Wives Club turned into when it started having to accommodate male spouses of deployed sailors.) I haven't been to an FRG meeting since November. I wanted to go to the last one earlier this month, but unfortunately my husband, who SWORE he'd be home on time, of course was assigned some task that kept him on the boat until 930pm and I missed it yet again. The reason I mention this is because...when I started going to the FRG, my goodness was it disorganized! But, then again we had just gotten and new Ombudsman and things were all in a jumble. But now it looks like they're getting their act together, and I feel slightly compelled to get involved! For instance, recently my husbands boat won an award for their cook staff, so the whole galley staff is going down to Virginia for a week next month and they won't be serving food on the boat. So the FRG is doing a fundraiser where they'll be selling baked goods and pizza to the sailors, on the pier mind you, for lunch one day during the week. And I'm like....huh, spend a few hours on the pier, feet away from my rarely seen husband who will hopefully surface long enough to atleast have lunch with me? Sign me up!!! LOL I'm insane I know. If I could only find a baby sitter for little L... :)

In other news, I'm also getting ready for the Submarine Birthday Ball, and I'm actually really excited. It's a big year this year...the 100th birthday I think, so of course, in the Submarine Capitol of the World, they're getting ready for a big time bash! AND...I have thus decided to MAKE my dress. (You try to find a modest, formal dress fit for a 9 months pregnant woman!) So I have taken on the task of making this...


Into this...

Of course, I can't do anything without totally changing everything until it no longer looks like what it was originally. :) The dress is only 1/2 done at this point. It's going to have sleeves, out of that same zebra print with a black cuff, and the belt that is on there right now is coming off, due to having tried on the dress and I am extremely dissatisfied with it's placement above my chest ( as the pattern calls for) making the whole dress take on a very "mu mu"-ish feel to it. INSTEAD it's going to have a WIDER black belt that goes all the way around my body and sits comfortably under my chest, but above my baby bump. :) I'll post more pictures when it's complete. :)

Other than all of that...life goes on as normal. L drove me a bit crazy today. She's always a force to be reckoned with, but today...today was a " mommy is putting you to bed a 1/2 hour early because she can't deal with it any longer" type day. :) Hopefully tomorrow she'll be a bit more chill, so I can actually get some house cleaning done, and not feel like nearly so much as a slob as I feel tonight!

Alright, I've been putting in a few too many late nights recently, ( underway induced insomnia with a pinch of 3rd trimester uncomfortableness thrown in just for kicks ) so I think I'm gonna sign off for now. Hope y'all have a great night!

Until next time,
Jen

Why do women do this too each other?

Oh my goodness....I don't know how a week got away from me without posting! Oh wait...actually I do. :) Probably has to do something with chasing after my rambunctious 18-month-old, the GORGEOUS 70 degree weather we've been having all week, and my need to get projects done so as to feel fully "nested" before our bouncing baby boy gets here at the end of next month!

Seriously though...I've had things I've wanted to talk about so I've been thinking about posting since like Wednesday. However I'm so wiped at the end of the night that I usually just pass out on the couch after I get darling L into bed! But not today! Today I will finally get my butt on here and write something interesting! REALLY! I swear :)

So my amazing husband didn't end up leaving until Tuesday if you can believe it. That's right...after saying goodbye to him for the second time in 2 days on Sunday, he came home Monday also. And we had to say "goodbye" again Tuesday morning!! In reality it didn't actually go like that. I dropped him off at the boat and told him that he'd better get a free moment and call me if they were actually leaving that day and THEN we could say goodbye, cause otherwise I'd just expect to get a call asking me to come pick him up again.

Well, he did call, and they did leave, and we did say "goodbye" three times in one weekend. I am grateful we got the extra time together. I think our daughter, in particular, really enjoyed having Daddy around ( because per my previous post, I was actually sick the whole weekend!) But holy emotional roller coaster! By Tuesday I was actually looking forward to him leaving! Well that is until the after the last phone call, when I hung up and the melancholy started to settle in again. :)

On another note, we've had new neighbors move into the house on our left. They have two young girls, a 4 year old and a 2 year old, and it's been nice having another family with young kids on the street, because since we've moved here our daughter has been the youngest. And it's just in time for summer!

Has anyone taken notice, though, how really odd women are? I remember just after my husband and I got married we were living in Charleston, SC while he was finishing up his Nuclear training at the Navy Nuc School down there. After the honeymoon my husband started school immediately, and thus began 12 to 16 hour days of me being by myself. I'd never lived in SC before, we had NO furniture besides my childhood bed I brought with me, some blankets, and a laptop computer that we watched movies on. We didn't even have a car for the first little while, so I couldn't even look for a job! After the first three weeks of sitting around in our little duplex, staring at white walls and getting tired of our VERY limited dvd collection, I finally decided to march myself across the street and make friends with the neighbors I'd been watching through our front windows. :)

I invited the wife over to my house that afternoon, and we played a card game on my bare living room floor, while I proceeded to tell her my entire life story, AND everything I had experienced in the short 3 weeks that my husband and I had been married. And I mean...everything. :) Things I would later, and more importantly my husband would, regret telling her. Fortunately for us, that couple ended up being some of our closest friends in SC, and we were very sad to see them leave. But the wife was the kind of person who would bring up things I had told her on that day just to see my husband squirm! For me...lesson learned; don't ever let yourself be stuck in a place with no furniture, no entertainment, no friends, and no escape! No matter how much you love the man. :)

I mention this because I find myself in a similar predicament with this new neighbor. Only I'm the one getting all the dirty laundry from my poor neighbor who obviously really just needs a friend. And honestly...and I know I'm going to hell for feeling this way...but I don't want to know, I don't actually care, AND I feel smothered now. :) I've learned that easing into friendships is REALLY, TRULY, the best way for both people to grow one. Because if one or the other just drops all the bombs in the first week...lets be honest, you scare people. WHY?? Why do women do this to each other???

What's even funnier is this week I've been paying attention to a wall on facebook that is discussing the issue of whether women belong on Submarines. My husband is stationed on a Fast Attack, and obviously most of the other Navy Wives that I socialize with are women whose husbands are, or have been, on submarines also. And none of us feel that it's a place where a woman should be. It's too demanding and dangerous and stressful! And women...lets face it...we can't help ourselves! We are made the way we're made, and we're NOT men and thank goodness for that! But take a situation similar to me and my new neighbor, (or worse!) put that into the confines of a tube that is underwater and doesn't surface for days, weeks, or even months on end and what do you people think is going to happen???

At least I can lock the door, close the blinds, and pretend no one is home. :)

until next time,
Jen

What A Weekend

I've been thinking about this post since Friday...but the post I would have written on Friday would have been all self- pitying ( not that there won't be a little of that in this post also!) and sad, cause that was the mood I was in. But after the weekend that I have had, things are a little different in my mind now. :)

"Underway Days", or the first day or two after my husband heads underway, are always difficult for me. I know that those of you who have dealt with frequent separations from you spouse understand what I am speaking of. You have that empty feeling that just follows you around for a couple of days...maybe not every minute of the day, you have tasks that take your mind off of it, or screaming children, or friends that come calling. But then during that quiet minute when the kids are asleep, or playing quietly while you fix dinner for one less mouth, the emptiness catches you again and you can't help but feel completely alone in the world.

That was my mindset on Friday evening. So what did I do? I took me and my daughter to the grocery store, bought every comfort food I could think of...cardboard pizza, chips and dip, reese's mini pb cups, snickerdoodle cookies, and icecream...and gorged myself for the night. Well...I actually only ate the pizza, one cookie, 2 handfuls of chips and dip, and maybe 6 or 7 mini pb cups. ( That's still alot for my increasingly small preggo stomach). I felt full going to bed, but not sick. Until I woke up at 1am when my stomach decided to eject all of that hard emotional eating I had done. Then ensued a not very pleasant night of stomach cramping and no sleep, and at 7am when my 18 month old started to stir, I knew I was in trouble. The saddest part was that I had told a friend of mine I would baby sit their 3 girls while they went on a date to celebrate her husbands birthday. But I knew I was BARELY going to be able to keep track of my own kid that day, let alone 3 other children. So, I called my friend, told her the situation, called around to find someone to replace me, and by 8:15 was sitting downstairs in my rocking chair while my daughter sipped on her sippy cup full of milk watching cartoons and thought to myself ' You're not gonna make it today girl. You need to see if someone can come watch her this afternoon so you can get some sleep'.

Well, in the process of texting another friend to see if she'd be willing to come over for the afternoon, I get a phone call...from my husband! Aparently they had indeed left, but had to turn around and come back because of some important equipment malfunctioning, and he had about 36 more hours of freedom before he had to report back to the boat and they could try to head underway again. I was so grateful for this news I cried.

I can say one thing this life in the Navy has taught me so far is that, Heavenly Father really is on my side. There have been numerous time that things have been delayed, or something has gone 'wrong' that has been a direct benefit to me personally. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and I KNOW that we will not give you more then you can handle, and if it seems like he does, he makes a way.

So my husband took care of our little girl while I slept off this horrible stomach bug yesterday, and today we got a few hours to play together as a family before sending him off once again to the boat this evening. It was bitter sweet as always, more so I think because my husband seemed to have a harder time leaving today then he did on Friday. I however am doing better. Possibly because it's evening and it means bed and a new start tomorrow. And also..tomorrow is Monday! Routine begins again and a week will fly by and bam! We're one week closer to being together again!

It certainly was one heck of a weekend, but I made it...with both my husband AND my Heavenly Father on my side. :)

Until next time,
Jen