Months went by with pretty limited communication between Skunky and I. He got busy with school, friends, and work...and so did I. He would call me every once in a while to check up on how I was doing, and we'd have good conversations. But I stopped initiating contact for a while, and things started to feel a little bit more normal in my life again.
Now...I have to explain something different about the school that I went to. They worked on a "trimester" system instead of a quarter semester. So I went to school for two of the three semesters, from January to August. My 'summer break' was the months September through December. Not everyone did this, some kids went to school September through May, and still others went from April to December. They did this to allow more students to come to this particular school.
My track, the "Winter Track" allowed me to be home through the entire holiday season. That is...if I could afford to make the 3000+ mile trip across country. This particular year...it turned out, I could not. So I would spend the holidays in Idaho, by myself, just working.
I really don't remember how the topic came up. I know that Skunky looked forward to me coming home during my time off, and I'm sure that during some conversation he expressed his excitement to me, and I had to tell him that I wasn't coming home, that I couldn't afford it. Of course you all know what Skunky did when he learned of that. That's right...he offered to pay my way home.
I know that I didn't give him an answer that conversation. I wanted to go home very badly...all of my friends were leaving for the holidays, so it really would just be me, myself, and I together in Idaho over Christmas. But I was uncomfortable with the thought I taking money from Skunky. I mean...I wouldn't even let him pay for dinner or any of our activities when he had come out to visit me! I knew how money changed things...and that if I accepted the money not only would Skunky have an emotional investment in me...he would have a financial one as well. I didn't want to ruin this poor man any more then I already had.
I think it was a couple of weeks before I got back to him. A couple of weeks of crunching my finances and coming up with the same conclusion every time ( nope, no money to go home!). A couple of weeks of listening to everyone around me make plans for the holidays. A couple of weeks for work to give me loads of projects that were to be completed through the holidays, so I would be kept busy.
I finally called him back and told him....yes. I would be very grateful if he would loan me the money to come home for Christmas. I think it was around October-ish that the tickets were actually bought. And then things got busy for both of us. It was a couple of weeks (well over a month) before we would actually talk again after he bought the tickets.
I came home from work and had a message on my phone from Skunky. He wanted me to call him. I fixed myself some dinner, and settled down on the couch in the living room of my apartment and then called him back.
" Hello?"
" Hey!"
" Hi." Uh oh....I could hear the hurt in his voice already. Little warning bells started ringing in my head.
" Hey, what's up? I got your message, I was at work when you called."
" Yeah. You're hard to get a hold of lately."
I paused. He had called and left messages a few times lately that I didn't get back to. I was really busy with work, you know retail during the holiday season! It wasn't on purpose...I just always ended up putting off calling him for later...
" I know...I'm sorry for that. Things have just been really busy at work lately and-"
" Yeah...I see how it is with you, Jen. I thought you were different, but I see now that you're just another one of those girls who bleeds a guy dry, and then leaves him hanging in the dust."
I was shocked. And very hurt. I could feel my breath leave my body and a roaring pain replace it. As tears sprung into my eyes, that roaring pain turned into a burning anger. This kid doesn't know me! How dare he presume to be my friend, and yet say something so cruel.
And without even another word to him, I hung up.
I stormed into my bedroom and closed the door, pacing the small space to release some of my anger. He called back almost immediately and I didn't answer. He called back after that, and again I didn't answer. On the third call back I decided I had something to say to him.
" How dare you..."
" Jen, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it-"
" How dare you say something so mean to me! I can't believe you would even think that, Skunky! That shows to me just what kind of a person you are on the inside. You are selfish and judgmental! This is the VERY REASON I didn't want to take the money from YOU! I KNEW that you would feel I owed it to you, that this would suddenly in some twisted fashion mean I would HAVE to be your girlfriend. Well let me tell you something, it doesn't. The only thing that I owe you right now is the money, and you will get that back as soon as possible! And then I NEVER want to talk to you again!"
I hung up on him again and he didn't call back. Believe it or not, within a few days I called him back. I was so mad at him, it took me a while to cool down enough to hear that little nagging voice in the back of my head that said " Jen....he loves you. He spoke out of hurt, he thought you really were avoiding him."
I called him back, and it was an awkward conversation. He couldn't apologize enough, and talked about how he had been in hell the last few days over what he had said. I accepted his apologies, but things felt different between us now. Different because there was a little piece of me that wondered if he was right, if what he said was true about me. I made some rules for myself that day...mostly to protect him more. I didn't want to be that for him...and that meant that I couldn't let him get any closer to me then he already was.
That would turn out not to be the end of this incident, however . He asked me to call him when I got to New Hampshire, and I told him that I would, and maybe we could get together.
The weeks passed and the next thing I knew, my Dad was picking me up from the airport. We had a leisurely ride home. I came into the house, said hi to my Mom, talked for a few minutes and then headed upstairs to take a shower and wash off the feeling of travel. During my shower I got a phone call and they left a message. When I got out, I check the message. It was from Skunky...a nasty one calling me dishonest for not calling him when I got into town like I said I would. At this point I had been in New Hampshire for maybe and hour and a half. But I had forgotten that he had bought my tickets, and had my itinerary. He knew the exact minute that my plane landed.
I called him back that minute, and gave him a royal chewing out. I told him that just because he bought my tickets did not mean that he now owned me. I told him exactly what I had done in a little over an hour in New Hampshire, and that it wasn't dishonest of me to putting off calling him until after I had showered and unpacked, that I hadn't even seen all of my family yet, and they were infinitely more important then he was! I told him that I would not talk to him again until after Christmas ( which was about a week away) and even then he would be LUCKY if he got to see me before I went back to Idaho.
And that was that. I did agree to see him. Two days before I left to go back to Idaho he met me at a sandwich shop near my house, and we had lunch. He apologized for the message again, and that he understood what I was saying about him not "owning" me just because he had helped a friend out. He said that he had never felt like this before, that he had loaned money to friends in the past but had never reacted harshly before. I shrugged it off, I didn't really know what to say. And neither did he. We parted with a hand shake, and it would be a very long time before things started to feel normal between us again.
He never asked me about the money again... and I never did pay him back.:) The day that we got married I asked him about it as we were driving up to Myrtle Beach, where we would spend our honey moon. He laughed, looked down at the rings on my finger, and said " Jen, I think your debt has been repaid."
Next up: Skunky joins the Navy!
Showing posts with label sunday story time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunday story time. Show all posts
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Sunday Story Time: Skunky visits Idaho...
Well...it's about time that I got back to telling the story of Skunky and I, huh? Way to keep you waiting for like three years! ( Bad blogger, I know!!) You know how it is...life gets nuts, and then you lose your rhythm! Lame excuse I know...but it's all I got! :)
I honestly wish I had Skunky around right now to help me with this part, because this is where my memory gets really fuzzy! Between this trip, and when he went into the Navy ( which was about a two year span) there is only one other memory that I have a vivid recollection of. After this trip I had really made up my mind that Skunky was not the one for me, and so I focused my mind elsewhere. He had lots of stuff go on in his life, and he talks about a lot of stuff that happened to him while I was off pretending he didn't exist, and I find that I get jealous of those memories, and sad that I had chosen to not be a part of them. Irrational I know...but I'm a girl, and that's what we do best!
I don't remember exactly how it happened. I really didn't think that he would come out and visit me. But in the midst of all of that frequent talking, and my increasing realization that I was going to need to make a tough decision, and possibly break his heart, the tickets were bought and he was flying out to see me on the week between our birthdays. ( I am 356 days older then Skunky! He turned 28 this last Monday! Can anyone guess when I will be turning 29?)
The sick and twisted part of this story, was that at the time I was...kind of involved with this guy I had met through one of my roommates. That relationship was....twisted...on even the best of days! To complicate things though, the school I went to did not have co-ed dorms. We were separated by gender, and I couldn't have a male friend live in my apartment for a week. So guess where he stayed....yes, on my quasi-boyfriend's couch!! You want to know just how "damned to hell" I really am? I would hang out with Skunky during the day, and after he would be safely tucked into my friends apartment, my boyfriend would sneak up to his bedroom and call me and we would talk about my day with Skunky. And of course I would complain about what a pickle I was in with him. Oh my gosh...even sitting here writing this, I can feel myself blushing with shame....
I remember that I picked Skunky up from the airport, and we went to go see " The Phantom Of The Opera" in the theaters. That's my favorite musical, and of course Skunky knew this, so he waited to go to see it with me! We had a little bit of time before the movie started so....true to Skunky's character of not putting things off too long, he busted out this note to me in the parking lot of the theater. It explained everything that he felt about me...that he loved me really, even though he knew I didn't feel the same way. I read it right there, with him sitting in the car with me, and I remember that the note made me angry. I was mad at him for admitting his feelings so bluntly, and on the very first day of his trip!! Now I couldn't just pretend I wasn't aware of his feelings and the whole vacation was going to be ruined! I told him as much too. Looking back on it now, it's interesting to me that even back then, I've always been brutally honest ( aka: dramatic!) with him in an argument. I've wondered since we've been married, where he has learned to be so patient with me when I am upset....and it occurs to me now that he's been sparing with me our entire relationship!! After almost 7 years of putting up with my angry rants...yeah, I bet he's learned how to deal with me when I'm angry. That man...he really should be sainted!!
My anger usual does fade quickly, and I know he calmed me down enough that we could go watch the movie and have a good time. The rest of the week he followed me around to my classes, met my roommates and school friends. I had work as well, and there was one day that I was going in for a shift, and I felt bad about leaving him for the evening, but he said that he was just gonna hang out at the apartment. Well...I believed him, until he showed up at my work!!! He had walked from the apartment to Wal-Mart....about 4 miles!...to come see me. I was upset at him again....I mean first of all, March in Idaho is still cold and snowy! And then to be just randomly walking around town and show up at my work, with no one knowing who he is, I even doubt the amount of people in New Hampshire that knew he had taken a trip out to see me...just, scared me. And made me mad...no shocker there!
The last vivid memory I have is of going to a school dance with him. They had, every Wednesday night, a country-western themed dance ( it is Idaho, people!) and me and one of my roommates, a friend from work, and Skunky all decided to go together. Poor Skunky is not the best dancer in the world, but he sure does try, and he was really enthusiastic about going to this one! I admit...I tried to pawn him off onto my roommate more then once! And when I couldn't do that, I stood with him on the outskirts of the room, watching everyone else dance, praying that he wouldn't make me dance and...Lord forbid...make me actually have to have physical contact with him!
Man, does this not sound like a page straight out of the "12-year-old Girl's Handbook For Dealing with Guys"? It's almost embarrassing telling you all this!
I do have one memento of that trip...a picture that was taken at that dance:
I wish I could find the larger version of this picture...I have it framed in a box somewhere. This is the one I keep in my wallet...lol... to remind me how far Skunky and I have come. Half of the picture is cut off obviously...it's my two friends from school. They're all cozy, messing around with the props they gave us in the picture. But....I don't know if you notice it, because I was surprisingly able to put on a sincere smile when the photo was shot, but the only thoughts going through my head were " How much distance can I put between me and Skunky without it looking really obvious in the picture?" I swear....at the time it felt like the Gulf of Mexico was between me and Skunky, but looking at the picture now, it looks like I was just placed on the other side of that post so you could see me better. Ironic, huh? :)
Well...that was really the last event of that trip. I think Skunky tried to broach the " I love you" conversation on the way to taking him to the airport, but I wouldn't let him, and we parted on what I think were amiable terms. Our contact was much less after that trip....
Until that is, the holiday season rolled around, and I was homesick...broke... and wanted to see my family. Enter Skunky to the rescue. Who knew we were about to have our first ( and only until after we got married) phone slamming, screaming at each other, fight??
Until next Sunday!
I honestly wish I had Skunky around right now to help me with this part, because this is where my memory gets really fuzzy! Between this trip, and when he went into the Navy ( which was about a two year span) there is only one other memory that I have a vivid recollection of. After this trip I had really made up my mind that Skunky was not the one for me, and so I focused my mind elsewhere. He had lots of stuff go on in his life, and he talks about a lot of stuff that happened to him while I was off pretending he didn't exist, and I find that I get jealous of those memories, and sad that I had chosen to not be a part of them. Irrational I know...but I'm a girl, and that's what we do best!
I don't remember exactly how it happened. I really didn't think that he would come out and visit me. But in the midst of all of that frequent talking, and my increasing realization that I was going to need to make a tough decision, and possibly break his heart, the tickets were bought and he was flying out to see me on the week between our birthdays. ( I am 356 days older then Skunky! He turned 28 this last Monday! Can anyone guess when I will be turning 29?)
The sick and twisted part of this story, was that at the time I was...kind of involved with this guy I had met through one of my roommates. That relationship was....twisted...on even the best of days! To complicate things though, the school I went to did not have co-ed dorms. We were separated by gender, and I couldn't have a male friend live in my apartment for a week. So guess where he stayed....yes, on my quasi-boyfriend's couch!! You want to know just how "damned to hell" I really am? I would hang out with Skunky during the day, and after he would be safely tucked into my friends apartment, my boyfriend would sneak up to his bedroom and call me and we would talk about my day with Skunky. And of course I would complain about what a pickle I was in with him. Oh my gosh...even sitting here writing this, I can feel myself blushing with shame....
I remember that I picked Skunky up from the airport, and we went to go see " The Phantom Of The Opera" in the theaters. That's my favorite musical, and of course Skunky knew this, so he waited to go to see it with me! We had a little bit of time before the movie started so....true to Skunky's character of not putting things off too long, he busted out this note to me in the parking lot of the theater. It explained everything that he felt about me...that he loved me really, even though he knew I didn't feel the same way. I read it right there, with him sitting in the car with me, and I remember that the note made me angry. I was mad at him for admitting his feelings so bluntly, and on the very first day of his trip!! Now I couldn't just pretend I wasn't aware of his feelings and the whole vacation was going to be ruined! I told him as much too. Looking back on it now, it's interesting to me that even back then, I've always been brutally honest ( aka: dramatic!) with him in an argument. I've wondered since we've been married, where he has learned to be so patient with me when I am upset....and it occurs to me now that he's been sparing with me our entire relationship!! After almost 7 years of putting up with my angry rants...yeah, I bet he's learned how to deal with me when I'm angry. That man...he really should be sainted!!
My anger usual does fade quickly, and I know he calmed me down enough that we could go watch the movie and have a good time. The rest of the week he followed me around to my classes, met my roommates and school friends. I had work as well, and there was one day that I was going in for a shift, and I felt bad about leaving him for the evening, but he said that he was just gonna hang out at the apartment. Well...I believed him, until he showed up at my work!!! He had walked from the apartment to Wal-Mart....about 4 miles!...to come see me. I was upset at him again....I mean first of all, March in Idaho is still cold and snowy! And then to be just randomly walking around town and show up at my work, with no one knowing who he is, I even doubt the amount of people in New Hampshire that knew he had taken a trip out to see me...just, scared me. And made me mad...no shocker there!
The last vivid memory I have is of going to a school dance with him. They had, every Wednesday night, a country-western themed dance ( it is Idaho, people!) and me and one of my roommates, a friend from work, and Skunky all decided to go together. Poor Skunky is not the best dancer in the world, but he sure does try, and he was really enthusiastic about going to this one! I admit...I tried to pawn him off onto my roommate more then once! And when I couldn't do that, I stood with him on the outskirts of the room, watching everyone else dance, praying that he wouldn't make me dance and...Lord forbid...make me actually have to have physical contact with him!
Man, does this not sound like a page straight out of the "12-year-old Girl's Handbook For Dealing with Guys"? It's almost embarrassing telling you all this!
I do have one memento of that trip...a picture that was taken at that dance:
I wish I could find the larger version of this picture...I have it framed in a box somewhere. This is the one I keep in my wallet...lol... to remind me how far Skunky and I have come. Half of the picture is cut off obviously...it's my two friends from school. They're all cozy, messing around with the props they gave us in the picture. But....I don't know if you notice it, because I was surprisingly able to put on a sincere smile when the photo was shot, but the only thoughts going through my head were " How much distance can I put between me and Skunky without it looking really obvious in the picture?" I swear....at the time it felt like the Gulf of Mexico was between me and Skunky, but looking at the picture now, it looks like I was just placed on the other side of that post so you could see me better. Ironic, huh? :)
Well...that was really the last event of that trip. I think Skunky tried to broach the " I love you" conversation on the way to taking him to the airport, but I wouldn't let him, and we parted on what I think were amiable terms. Our contact was much less after that trip....
Until that is, the holiday season rolled around, and I was homesick...broke... and wanted to see my family. Enter Skunky to the rescue. Who knew we were about to have our first ( and only until after we got married) phone slamming, screaming at each other, fight??
Until next Sunday!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday Story Time: Fast forward
I bounded off to college without much more thought put towards Skunky...at least until I actually got to Idaho. I'm not entirely sure who called who first. Knowing myself though...and my oddly conflicting feelings about Skunky at the time, I'm fairly sure I'm safe in saying I called him.
I know that I missed my family and my ties to New Hampshire....and Skunky made me feel better about EVERYTHING. Always. I was working full time at the Wal-Mart in town, and going to school full time. I was exhausted and frustrated with friends, and a boy I thought I was dating at school...Skunky was my solace. The only person in the world who always made me feel better about myself. It was addicting to me, honestly, and it wasn't long before we were talking on the phone every day. He would call me "store to store" when we were working the same shifts and we would talk at work. He would leave messages on my cell phone, serenading me silly songs like " Would You Like to Swing On A Star". He even sent me flowers to the service desk one time, because I think I had had a bad week and he wanted to cheer me up!
And I was a very conflicted girl. Skunky is a bit of a pack rat when it comes to notes and emails ( even text messages and voice mails!) and doesn't get rid of them ever! So we can thank him for having these little gems from my past! I started school in Janurary, and on February 10th, I wrote him this note: ( I edited it a little :))
E----
I feel a little cheap writing this all down in an e-mail. But for two reasons I think this is the best way to at least start this conversation. 1) It gives me the time I need to actually articulate my thoughts in a clear way, something that I'm not always able to do on the phone. And 2) I think this will actually give you the space and time you need to think about what I'm going to say, and you won't feel put on the spot or cornered in any way.
Honestly. I'm confused about us. This is exactly what I feel about you:
I think you're amazing. You're funny, and your nice, and you're always happy. You always manage to find a bright spot in any situation. Your sarcasm is hilarious, but you're also able to take things seriously when you're supposed to. I love how you are just you, and you don't apologize for that fact. Anyone could take you or leave you, and it would be their loss. I love how you make me feel about myself. You make me feel appreciated and loved. And special .
There are some days when I'm totally pre-occupied with you. All I can do is think about you, and obviously those days are the days that I miss you the most.
I don't know if you understand fully how a girls minds work, but we're always thinking about the future, particularly when it comes to boys. And I've missed you more than I thought I was going to. So those unexpected feelings got me thinking... "Hmmm...maybe I really do like E---- more than I think I do."
And that thought, of course, leads me to imagine situations in which we acted like a couple. This is the part that makes it confusing for me. Imagining myself as your "girlfriend" should make me blissfully happy. Unfortunately, going down that path in my mind, feels so wrong in my heart, that it makes me sick.
And that, in turn, makes me sad and depressed, because I would be so lucky to end up with someone like you. Someone I know who would take care of me and love me the way that I should be loved.
Can you see my dilemma now? When I have you clearly set up in my head as one of my dearest friends, I miss you so much...it feels abnormal to miss just a "friend" this much. But when I think of you as anything else, my heart and soul rejects it. And that makes this situation really hard.
I know you all are probably groaning right now. Really, Jenn?? How did you not see it?? And WHAT IN THE CRAP was your hang up?? Well...obviously....I didn't know at the time. It would take me another 2 years before I would figure it out! ( Don't worry though...I promise it won't take me two years to tell this story!)
He responded by calling me, and basically told me that if friendship was all I had to offer, then he would take it gladly! So the madness continued. A week or two later, I was freaking out about us again, and in an attempt to calm things down a little, I challenged him by seeing who could last longer without calling each other. Here is our email exchange from that occasion: ( Thank you, honey!)
Jenn,
I hope that you are enjoying yourself, because I am not!
(Exaggerating!) Right now I am using all of my conscience effort not
to knaw off my own head! What was I thinking as I got off the phone
with you on Friday night? I wanted to call you right back and cancel
this whole bet! I would suffer drastically! Knowing you
cannot/shouldn't do something makes the temptation even more great!
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I shall suffer though this! My will is strong!
In this letter I shall be sending you soon, I wanted to put "call me
when you get this" as a little joke, but I felt if you did call, I
would have won by your misinterpretation, thus I cheated. I cannot
win that way! I am trying to convince myself that I do not want to
talk on the phone. (That is easy and true.) The hard part is
convincing myself that I don't want to talk to you! (Not at all easy
nor true!)
So I shall say that this will be a very Holy week for me and you will
have to wait for the 14th of March to hear about it (unless you give
in, because I surely will not!)! First, church yesterday, tonight, a
talk with Megan, tomorrow, talk with Steven (the guy who gave me "his
favorite book"), Wednesday, cooking dinner for the Elders, then a
meeting with them, and then finally on Thursday, bible study with the
Hamels! I can feel your temptation is getting stronger!
BWAAAHHHAHAHAHA! I dispise talking on the phone, but talking to you
makes me feel happy! I need to find a nice medium! I have never
talked to anyone on the phone as long as when I talked to you! (Here
is where feel special if you don't already!)
Anywho, I shall talk to you in less than a month! Until then, swing
on a star for me!
- E
My response:
E----,
I totally caved. You'll find that out tomrrow when you turn on your phone. LOL And I hadn't even read your e-mail, which most certianly probably would have been the topping on the cake!!!!
The sad thing I think is, I didn't even try to fight it. I was just thinking how much I missed you, and how much I needed to talk to you about all of the important decisions I'm making in my life right now and it was like....just call him.
And then your phone was off and I wanted to cry.
And then I talked for a 1/2 an hour with one of my cashiers about how amazing you are (probably boring her to tears) while our cars warmed up.
And now I'm home writing you an e-mail when I need to be writing an english paper.
Something is wrong with me.
E----...can I tell you that the dependency I have for you, which seems to be growing daily, is starting to scare me.
I'll talk to you tomorrow,
Jenn
Honestly...looking back on these emails now, I seriously cannot BELIEVE I didn't see it then. Well...I mean, obviously I did see it, I admit on several occasions to being scared about it! But I was a girl in some serious denial.
This was a fast forward through a couple of months of communications between Skunky and I. A LOT of our relationship was long distance....haha I'll try to make the fast forwards as few and far between as possible!
Next week? Skunky's trip out to Idaho...!
until next Sunday!
I know that I missed my family and my ties to New Hampshire....and Skunky made me feel better about EVERYTHING. Always. I was working full time at the Wal-Mart in town, and going to school full time. I was exhausted and frustrated with friends, and a boy I thought I was dating at school...Skunky was my solace. The only person in the world who always made me feel better about myself. It was addicting to me, honestly, and it wasn't long before we were talking on the phone every day. He would call me "store to store" when we were working the same shifts and we would talk at work. He would leave messages on my cell phone, serenading me silly songs like " Would You Like to Swing On A Star". He even sent me flowers to the service desk one time, because I think I had had a bad week and he wanted to cheer me up!
And I was a very conflicted girl. Skunky is a bit of a pack rat when it comes to notes and emails ( even text messages and voice mails!) and doesn't get rid of them ever! So we can thank him for having these little gems from my past! I started school in Janurary, and on February 10th, I wrote him this note: ( I edited it a little :))
E----
I feel a little cheap writing this all down in an e-mail. But for two reasons I think this is the best way to at least start this conversation. 1) It gives me the time I need to actually articulate my thoughts in a clear way, something that I'm not always able to do on the phone. And 2) I think this will actually give you the space and time you need to think about what I'm going to say, and you won't feel put on the spot or cornered in any way.
Honestly. I'm confused about us. This is exactly what I feel about you:
I think you're amazing. You're funny, and your nice, and you're always happy. You always manage to find a bright spot in any situation. Your sarcasm is hilarious, but you're also able to take things seriously when you're supposed to. I love how you are just you, and you don't apologize for that fact. Anyone could take you or leave you, and it would be their loss. I love how you make me feel about myself. You make me feel appreciated and loved. And special .
There are some days when I'm totally pre-occupied with you. All I can do is think about you, and obviously those days are the days that I miss you the most.
I don't know if you understand fully how a girls minds work, but we're always thinking about the future, particularly when it comes to boys. And I've missed you more than I thought I was going to. So those unexpected feelings got me thinking... "Hmmm...maybe I really do like E---- more than I think I do."
And that thought, of course, leads me to imagine situations in which we acted like a couple. This is the part that makes it confusing for me. Imagining myself as your "girlfriend" should make me blissfully happy. Unfortunately, going down that path in my mind, feels so wrong in my heart, that it makes me sick.
And that, in turn, makes me sad and depressed, because I would be so lucky to end up with someone like you. Someone I know who would take care of me and love me the way that I should be loved.
Can you see my dilemma now? When I have you clearly set up in my head as one of my dearest friends, I miss you so much...it feels abnormal to miss just a "friend" this much. But when I think of you as anything else, my heart and soul rejects it. And that makes this situation really hard.
I know you all are probably groaning right now. Really, Jenn?? How did you not see it?? And WHAT IN THE CRAP was your hang up?? Well...obviously....I didn't know at the time. It would take me another 2 years before I would figure it out! ( Don't worry though...I promise it won't take me two years to tell this story!)
He responded by calling me, and basically told me that if friendship was all I had to offer, then he would take it gladly! So the madness continued. A week or two later, I was freaking out about us again, and in an attempt to calm things down a little, I challenged him by seeing who could last longer without calling each other. Here is our email exchange from that occasion: ( Thank you, honey!)
Jenn,
I hope that you are enjoying yourself, because I am not!
(Exaggerating!) Right now I am using all of my conscience effort not
to knaw off my own head! What was I thinking as I got off the phone
with you on Friday night? I wanted to call you right back and cancel
this whole bet! I would suffer drastically! Knowing you
cannot/shouldn't do something makes the temptation even more great!
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I shall suffer though this! My will is strong!
In this letter I shall be sending you soon, I wanted to put "call me
when you get this" as a little joke, but I felt if you did call, I
would have won by your misinterpretation, thus I cheated. I cannot
win that way! I am trying to convince myself that I do not want to
talk on the phone. (That is easy and true.) The hard part is
convincing myself that I don't want to talk to you! (Not at all easy
nor true!)
So I shall say that this will be a very Holy week for me and you will
have to wait for the 14th of March to hear about it (unless you give
in, because I surely will not!)! First, church yesterday, tonight, a
talk with Megan, tomorrow, talk with Steven (the guy who gave me "his
favorite book"), Wednesday, cooking dinner for the Elders, then a
meeting with them, and then finally on Thursday, bible study with the
Hamels! I can feel your temptation is getting stronger!
BWAAAHHHAHAHAHA! I dispise talking on the phone, but talking to you
makes me feel happy! I need to find a nice medium! I have never
talked to anyone on the phone as long as when I talked to you! (Here
is where feel special if you don't already!)
Anywho, I shall talk to you in less than a month! Until then, swing
on a star for me!
- E
My response:
E----,
I totally caved. You'll find that out tomrrow when you turn on your phone. LOL And I hadn't even read your e-mail, which most certianly probably would have been the topping on the cake!!!!
The sad thing I think is, I didn't even try to fight it. I was just thinking how much I missed you, and how much I needed to talk to you about all of the important decisions I'm making in my life right now and it was like....just call him.
And then your phone was off and I wanted to cry.
And then I talked for a 1/2 an hour with one of my cashiers about how amazing you are (probably boring her to tears) while our cars warmed up.
And now I'm home writing you an e-mail when I need to be writing an english paper.
Something is wrong with me.
E----...can I tell you that the dependency I have for you, which seems to be growing daily, is starting to scare me.
I'll talk to you tomorrow,
Jenn
Honestly...looking back on these emails now, I seriously cannot BELIEVE I didn't see it then. Well...I mean, obviously I did see it, I admit on several occasions to being scared about it! But I was a girl in some serious denial.
This was a fast forward through a couple of months of communications between Skunky and I. A LOT of our relationship was long distance....haha I'll try to make the fast forwards as few and far between as possible!
Next week? Skunky's trip out to Idaho...!
until next Sunday!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday Story Time: " I'm leaving on a Jet Plane..."
The day before I left for college was kind of no big deal, at least I thought so. Skunky had pretty much been avoiding me for like 3 weeks, and because I was getting increasingly nervous of how I thought he felt about me, I really didn't mind the lack in attention. I noticed it, for sure, but almost felt it as a relief. I would be able to go to school without feeling like I had and loose ends that needed to be tied up.
We were at work of course, and my co-workers had put together a small going away party ( with cake and cans of silly string involved!) to let me know how much they were going to miss me. We celebrated briefly at the end of my shift and, after all the hugs and wishes of good luck, I headed down the main isle to go clock out and get myself home so I could finish packing. Skunky stepped out of the isle in front of me with a sheepish smile.
" Hey."
" Hey! Long time no see!" I nudged him slightly in the arm...and then kicked myself for it. Why couldn't I ever be cool and reserved with this kid, like I should be??
" Yeah...you noticed that huh?"
I smiled in return and shrugged.
" I just...I knew you were leaving and I have a hard time saying goodbyes."
I smiled understandingly. " Yeah, I understand. But I'll be back next year! We can hang out then!" Really Jenn?? Can you not control yourself?
His face brightened at the small ray of hope I had accidentally shed on him, and my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. " Yeah I'd really like that." He paused a moment, and shuffled nervously. " Hey, I have something for you. It's small really...no big, I just wanted to give you something."
He dug in is pocket for a second, and then brought out a small folded up piece of paper, and this:
It was very small, and obviously painstakingly handmade. A skunk offering me a flower. I was oddly...touched.
" Did you make this?"
" Yeah."
" Skunky...it's really cute. Thank you." I leaned over and gave him an awkward hug.
He hugged me back...a little tighter then I was comfortable with...and then let me go and stepped back.
" Yeah...do me a favor, and don't read the note until later."
" Uh huh. Sure. No problem."
He shuffled his feet again, and I knew he was looking for a way to keep me talking longer. I glanced at my watch...I really did need to go clock out.
" Hey I have a friend who is traveling out to Washington for Spring Break. Maybe I could stop by and see you in Idaho. I've never been there before."
Never in a million years did I think this kid was going to scrounge up the money to take a trip to come see me in some po-dunk college town in Idaho. And the surety of that is what prompted me to reply:
" Yeah!! You should absolutely come see me! We'd have a great time!"
He smiled very broadly at me, and nodded. " Alright then, cool. I'll email you and we'll figure it out." He stepped aside, signaling to me that he was ready to let me go.
I smiled at him again, clutching the small skunk and note in my hand, touched him on the arm again, and headed down the isle to the back of the store.
I read the note when I got into my car. It was the first love letter that he would write me. He explained that he liked me a lot, and that it hurt to be around me knowing that I was going to leave, so he had instead decided to stay away. But staying away felt wrong too, and he felt selfish for putting his own feelings first, and he hoped that we could still remain friends when I went off to school.
I let my hands fall into my lap, and laid my head on my steering wheel. I was really in a bind. I wasn't really shocked at the letter...it confirmed what I had been suspicious of for a while. But I felt bad for him...I knew that I didn't feel the same way that he did. But he was a good friend...possibly had even become my best friend. So I didn't want to break his heart....and I didn't know how I could keep my friend and let him know there was no possibility for us to go anywhere other then just good friends.
I tossed the letter into my passenger seat, and started my car. I wouldn't see him again for another 8 months...surely his feelings would cool in that amount of time.
What I didn't realize that I was going to see Skunky again, a lot sooner then I was expecting to...
until next Sunday!
We were at work of course, and my co-workers had put together a small going away party ( with cake and cans of silly string involved!) to let me know how much they were going to miss me. We celebrated briefly at the end of my shift and, after all the hugs and wishes of good luck, I headed down the main isle to go clock out and get myself home so I could finish packing. Skunky stepped out of the isle in front of me with a sheepish smile.
" Hey."
" Hey! Long time no see!" I nudged him slightly in the arm...and then kicked myself for it. Why couldn't I ever be cool and reserved with this kid, like I should be??
" Yeah...you noticed that huh?"
I smiled in return and shrugged.
" I just...I knew you were leaving and I have a hard time saying goodbyes."
I smiled understandingly. " Yeah, I understand. But I'll be back next year! We can hang out then!" Really Jenn?? Can you not control yourself?
His face brightened at the small ray of hope I had accidentally shed on him, and my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. " Yeah I'd really like that." He paused a moment, and shuffled nervously. " Hey, I have something for you. It's small really...no big, I just wanted to give you something."
He dug in is pocket for a second, and then brought out a small folded up piece of paper, and this:
It was very small, and obviously painstakingly handmade. A skunk offering me a flower. I was oddly...touched.
" Did you make this?"
" Yeah."
" Skunky...it's really cute. Thank you." I leaned over and gave him an awkward hug.
He hugged me back...a little tighter then I was comfortable with...and then let me go and stepped back.
" Yeah...do me a favor, and don't read the note until later."
" Uh huh. Sure. No problem."
He shuffled his feet again, and I knew he was looking for a way to keep me talking longer. I glanced at my watch...I really did need to go clock out.
" Hey I have a friend who is traveling out to Washington for Spring Break. Maybe I could stop by and see you in Idaho. I've never been there before."
Never in a million years did I think this kid was going to scrounge up the money to take a trip to come see me in some po-dunk college town in Idaho. And the surety of that is what prompted me to reply:
" Yeah!! You should absolutely come see me! We'd have a great time!"
He smiled very broadly at me, and nodded. " Alright then, cool. I'll email you and we'll figure it out." He stepped aside, signaling to me that he was ready to let me go.
I smiled at him again, clutching the small skunk and note in my hand, touched him on the arm again, and headed down the isle to the back of the store.
I read the note when I got into my car. It was the first love letter that he would write me. He explained that he liked me a lot, and that it hurt to be around me knowing that I was going to leave, so he had instead decided to stay away. But staying away felt wrong too, and he felt selfish for putting his own feelings first, and he hoped that we could still remain friends when I went off to school.
I let my hands fall into my lap, and laid my head on my steering wheel. I was really in a bind. I wasn't really shocked at the letter...it confirmed what I had been suspicious of for a while. But I felt bad for him...I knew that I didn't feel the same way that he did. But he was a good friend...possibly had even become my best friend. So I didn't want to break his heart....and I didn't know how I could keep my friend and let him know there was no possibility for us to go anywhere other then just good friends.
I tossed the letter into my passenger seat, and started my car. I wouldn't see him again for another 8 months...surely his feelings would cool in that amount of time.
What I didn't realize that I was going to see Skunky again, a lot sooner then I was expecting to...
until next Sunday!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Sunday Story Time: The Interim
The 4 months following that first date, Skunky and I spent pretty much EVERY waking minute together. Of course...we worked together, so we saw each other every day at Wal-mart. And it was handy having a guy around at work who would do anything I asked him to! There was one time in particular I remember, where it was like an hour before closing, a COMPLETE BLIZZARD outside, and all of my cart pushers except one had called in. Down the isle bounds Skunky, heavy ( too big!) parka on but no hat or gloves! I couldn't send him out like that! So I loaned him my hand-knit hat, scarf, and mittens. They were various shades of blue, so the total effect wasn't that bad, but to see the guy walking in after finishing, covered in snow and ice, my scarf up over his mouth and nose, and the only thing I could see were his bright, dancing blue eyes, knowing he was smiling ear to ear after having completed the chore for me... that memory will never leave me!
Now I'd like to pause a minute for a disclaimer. From here on until about 3 years pass, I am the villain in this story. Not on purpose mind you. I think a lot of us have been there...we've all had that really good friend who thinks they are totally head of heels for us. And you know you should cut them lose, but to have someone who is so forgiving of you and understands you despite your faults...it's hard to let go of. You will see... I'm not as nice to Skunky, at moments, as I should have been, as he really deserved. And there are parts of our pre-marriage history I will always regret. So...if there are bits of this story that color your opinion of me...well they should. :) I just hope you stick around, despite...lol well, me!
There were several highlights from that fall that made Skunky such a " thorn in my side" for the next several years. I'm not joking when I tell you he is the kind of man that you immediately like, and never forget. I can't tell you how many friends he has, ALL OVER the world.
I spent a lot of time walking around campus with him. I learned about Homestar Runner from him, and there was many an afternoon spent in some random campus computer lab laughing at one cartoon short or another.
We often hung out after work. He would come over to my parents house and we'd zone out watching movies like 'Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights'. ( Yes, he always let me pick the movie!) And, more often then not, I would fall asleep and wake up to him gently shaking me, and with a quiet smile, telling me he'd see me at work tomorrow.
For Halloween, he showed me his " Dare Devil" costume. You know you've met a secure man when he can dress up in front of a girl he likes wearing skin tight RED sweat pants, a long sleeved red t-shirt with his highschool logo on the front, and a red ski mask with little felt horns glued onto it!
He came to church as often as he could, always sitting with me and my family. He came to my ward's Thanksgiving Dinner, and at this point I had begun to figure out that his feelings were a bit stronger then mine, so I busied myself playing with my nieces and nephews so that I wouldn't have sit with him any longer then necessary. I guess this technique backfired on me though, because later he would tell me that watching me play with my older brother's kids clued him into what a great mom I was going to be. The man is too freaking observant. :)
The four months flew by though, and before I knew it, it was January and time for me to head off to Idaho to start my own college adventure. Our last day together he gave me a gift, that meant more to me than I realized, and I made a promise that I had no idea he would force me to keep...
Until next Sunday!
Now I'd like to pause a minute for a disclaimer. From here on until about 3 years pass, I am the villain in this story. Not on purpose mind you. I think a lot of us have been there...we've all had that really good friend who thinks they are totally head of heels for us. And you know you should cut them lose, but to have someone who is so forgiving of you and understands you despite your faults...it's hard to let go of. You will see... I'm not as nice to Skunky, at moments, as I should have been, as he really deserved. And there are parts of our pre-marriage history I will always regret. So...if there are bits of this story that color your opinion of me...well they should. :) I just hope you stick around, despite...lol well, me!
There were several highlights from that fall that made Skunky such a " thorn in my side" for the next several years. I'm not joking when I tell you he is the kind of man that you immediately like, and never forget. I can't tell you how many friends he has, ALL OVER the world.
I spent a lot of time walking around campus with him. I learned about Homestar Runner from him, and there was many an afternoon spent in some random campus computer lab laughing at one cartoon short or another.
We often hung out after work. He would come over to my parents house and we'd zone out watching movies like 'Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights'. ( Yes, he always let me pick the movie!) And, more often then not, I would fall asleep and wake up to him gently shaking me, and with a quiet smile, telling me he'd see me at work tomorrow.
For Halloween, he showed me his " Dare Devil" costume. You know you've met a secure man when he can dress up in front of a girl he likes wearing skin tight RED sweat pants, a long sleeved red t-shirt with his highschool logo on the front, and a red ski mask with little felt horns glued onto it!
He came to church as often as he could, always sitting with me and my family. He came to my ward's Thanksgiving Dinner, and at this point I had begun to figure out that his feelings were a bit stronger then mine, so I busied myself playing with my nieces and nephews so that I wouldn't have sit with him any longer then necessary. I guess this technique backfired on me though, because later he would tell me that watching me play with my older brother's kids clued him into what a great mom I was going to be. The man is too freaking observant. :)
The four months flew by though, and before I knew it, it was January and time for me to head off to Idaho to start my own college adventure. Our last day together he gave me a gift, that meant more to me than I realized, and I made a promise that I had no idea he would force me to keep...
Until next Sunday!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Sunday Story Time: The first date
My first date with Skunky we met in no other place then....you guessed it, the Wal-mart parking lot! I don't remember why we agreed to meet there. It was possible I forced the issue because I thought it was going to be a one time thing and I didn't feel he needed to know where I lived! It might have even been because we decided to go out right after his shift and so it was just easier to go straight from work.
In any case, we decided to take his car. And this is what he was driving at the time:
Imagine less pretty, and a girly teal color. And imagine the ENTIRE back seat filled with every possession he owned.
" Jenn, I'm sorry about the back seat. I'm kind of in between places right now."
Is he serious? He's living out of his car? " Skunky, I thought you were living with some friends in an off campus apartment?"
"Yeah yeah..well that changed so, I'm just looking for another place to live right now."
" Where are you staying?"
" Well I go see my parents on the weekend."
Oh...okay so he's not completely homeless. " And during the week?"
" Well I'm crashing at friends places until I can find something more permanent."
I shake my head and go to open the door.
" Hey wait a sec...I've had some problems with her lately, she'll only open from the inside." He rushes around to the drivers side, gets in and reaches across the seat to open the door for me. " Okay, come on in!"
I stand there for a moment, trying hard to stifle a hysterical burst of laughter, and then climb into the car.
" Yeah the radio doesn't work either." I openly stare at him, having completely lost all of my sense of politeness. He has the sense to at least blush at this.
I mentally kick myself just in time for this to not get any worse. " Hey no big, that's what talking is for right??"
He smiles with intense relief and we head out of the parking lot. We were living in New Hampshire at the time, and anyone who lives there knows it takes at least 30 minutes to get anywhere. That's a long car ride with a guy you're just going on a pitty date with! With no radio as a distraction to boot!
It doesn't take us long to lapse into silence. I end up staring out the car window, listening to the miles pass underneath us, when all of the sudden...
" Hehehehe!"
I glance over at Skunky. He looks pretty normal...except for his slightly hunched forward posture, a slight hopping up and down in his seat, and what can only be expressed as a slightly crazy smile plastered on his face. I face forward now, a little on edge.
" Hehehehehehe."
This time I can't help but say something. " Umm...what are you doing?" Perhaps he's laughing at a joke in his head, and maybe he'll share this time...
" Oh!" He glances over at me, blushes a little more again, and the smiles one of the most genuine, radiant smiles I've ever seen in my life. " Sometimes, I get so happy that I can't contain it. So I laugh." To emphasize his words, he claps his hands together and then rubs them back and forth, like he's trying to warm them with the friction, then grabs quickly a hold of the steering wheel again.
I stare at him again. And can't help but smile. I know Skunky from work to be a bit hyper, and a little ...weird. But this was a whole new level of odd! " That's a little weird, Skunky."
He shrugs. " Yeah I know." He goes back to smiling out the windshield.
Surprisingly, this whole episode puts me at ease. I suddenly see Skunky in my mind as this weird little kid who needs to be protected. Later this thought process would cause a whole lot of pain for both of us....but right now it serves to make me relax.
We get to dinner, at a Chili's restaurant near the theater we're going to. Skunky flirts, quite expertly to my surprise, with our waitress, and it's mildly annoying. Watching him though, I convince myself he doesn't realize how charming he can actually be. We chat and laugh about Lord knows what, and then comes the moment I am convinced now, after several years, I actually fell in love with him.
I'm sipping my Sprite through my straw and he says to me " I never drink out of straws."
I look at him a little perplexed, wondering where he is going to take this. " No?"
" Yep."
Apparently he wants me to indulge him. And I'm a little curious. " Why not?"
" Because...can you imagine a manly man doing this?" He then proceeds to unwrap his straw and place it into his drink. He bends it meticulously at the bendy part, and then puckers his lips in the most exaggerated pucker I have ever seen, brings the straw up to his mouth, bats his eyelashes and takes a swig through the straw. He then puts his drink down and slumps down into a relaxed position in his chair, one arm slung over the back of the chair, and states simply. " Real men don't drink from straws."
I finally break out into the hysterical laughter that has just been boiling under the surface all night...so much so that people around us glance to see what was so funny. Skunky sits up straight, a look of supreme accomplishment on his face.
The rest of dinner went wonderful and the movie and drive home were great. He actually does end up driving me home afterward ( I don't remember why, but I'm fairly sure it has something to do with my brother taking my car!)
We end up talking about the church in my driveway. He knew I was Mormon, and was curious about the church, he's only met one other Mormon in his life. Of course being the "molly mormon" that I am I invited him to come on Sunday. He says sure, he'd be really interested to go. I'm fairly sure, though, that it's only because he wants to see me again. But hey...whatever gets him there!
until next time!
In any case, we decided to take his car. And this is what he was driving at the time:
Imagine less pretty, and a girly teal color. And imagine the ENTIRE back seat filled with every possession he owned.
" Jenn, I'm sorry about the back seat. I'm kind of in between places right now."
Is he serious? He's living out of his car? " Skunky, I thought you were living with some friends in an off campus apartment?"
"Yeah yeah..well that changed so, I'm just looking for another place to live right now."
" Where are you staying?"
" Well I go see my parents on the weekend."
Oh...okay so he's not completely homeless. " And during the week?"
" Well I'm crashing at friends places until I can find something more permanent."
I shake my head and go to open the door.
" Hey wait a sec...I've had some problems with her lately, she'll only open from the inside." He rushes around to the drivers side, gets in and reaches across the seat to open the door for me. " Okay, come on in!"
I stand there for a moment, trying hard to stifle a hysterical burst of laughter, and then climb into the car.
" Yeah the radio doesn't work either." I openly stare at him, having completely lost all of my sense of politeness. He has the sense to at least blush at this.
I mentally kick myself just in time for this to not get any worse. " Hey no big, that's what talking is for right??"
He smiles with intense relief and we head out of the parking lot. We were living in New Hampshire at the time, and anyone who lives there knows it takes at least 30 minutes to get anywhere. That's a long car ride with a guy you're just going on a pitty date with! With no radio as a distraction to boot!
It doesn't take us long to lapse into silence. I end up staring out the car window, listening to the miles pass underneath us, when all of the sudden...
" Hehehehe!"
I glance over at Skunky. He looks pretty normal...except for his slightly hunched forward posture, a slight hopping up and down in his seat, and what can only be expressed as a slightly crazy smile plastered on his face. I face forward now, a little on edge.
" Hehehehehehe."
This time I can't help but say something. " Umm...what are you doing?" Perhaps he's laughing at a joke in his head, and maybe he'll share this time...
" Oh!" He glances over at me, blushes a little more again, and the smiles one of the most genuine, radiant smiles I've ever seen in my life. " Sometimes, I get so happy that I can't contain it. So I laugh." To emphasize his words, he claps his hands together and then rubs them back and forth, like he's trying to warm them with the friction, then grabs quickly a hold of the steering wheel again.
I stare at him again. And can't help but smile. I know Skunky from work to be a bit hyper, and a little ...weird. But this was a whole new level of odd! " That's a little weird, Skunky."
He shrugs. " Yeah I know." He goes back to smiling out the windshield.
Surprisingly, this whole episode puts me at ease. I suddenly see Skunky in my mind as this weird little kid who needs to be protected. Later this thought process would cause a whole lot of pain for both of us....but right now it serves to make me relax.
We get to dinner, at a Chili's restaurant near the theater we're going to. Skunky flirts, quite expertly to my surprise, with our waitress, and it's mildly annoying. Watching him though, I convince myself he doesn't realize how charming he can actually be. We chat and laugh about Lord knows what, and then comes the moment I am convinced now, after several years, I actually fell in love with him.
I'm sipping my Sprite through my straw and he says to me " I never drink out of straws."
I look at him a little perplexed, wondering where he is going to take this. " No?"
" Yep."
Apparently he wants me to indulge him. And I'm a little curious. " Why not?"
" Because...can you imagine a manly man doing this?" He then proceeds to unwrap his straw and place it into his drink. He bends it meticulously at the bendy part, and then puckers his lips in the most exaggerated pucker I have ever seen, brings the straw up to his mouth, bats his eyelashes and takes a swig through the straw. He then puts his drink down and slumps down into a relaxed position in his chair, one arm slung over the back of the chair, and states simply. " Real men don't drink from straws."
I finally break out into the hysterical laughter that has just been boiling under the surface all night...so much so that people around us glance to see what was so funny. Skunky sits up straight, a look of supreme accomplishment on his face.
The rest of dinner went wonderful and the movie and drive home were great. He actually does end up driving me home afterward ( I don't remember why, but I'm fairly sure it has something to do with my brother taking my car!)
We end up talking about the church in my driveway. He knew I was Mormon, and was curious about the church, he's only met one other Mormon in his life. Of course being the "molly mormon" that I am I invited him to come on Sunday. He says sure, he'd be really interested to go. I'm fairly sure, though, that it's only because he wants to see me again. But hey...whatever gets him there!
until next time!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday Story Time- In the Beginning...:)
Right before I stopped blogging The Annoyed Army Wife was starting a segment called " Sunday Story Time" and I thought it was a great idea! I have been "writing" since as long I as I can remember...journals, short stories, poems...blogging :)...I take a lot of personal enjoyment in putting my thoughts and dreams into printed words. I briefly looked over her site to see if she had continued this segment, and it seems that at least the last few Sundays she has not.I hope she doesn't mind me picking it up anyway!
I'm going to be somewhat predictable and start with a story about me and the Hubs. (And I'm unsatisfied with his alias so I think I'm gonna start calling him... Skunky. LOL and THAT has got a good story that I will save for another day!) I figure that starting with something basic, and a subject that most spouses find interesting, is safe. PLUS, most of you know only what I have posted on here in recent history...I'm the wife of a Submarine Sailor, we have two young children, and I am living through our first deployment. Ahhhhh...but where did it all begin? :)
I like to fancy myself with the idea that Skunky and I have one of those "epic" love stories. Which..it's epic to me and that's really all that matters. :) But it did take him almost 4 years to convince me I wanted to marry him! So just the time period is bound to add a little 'spice' into our love story!
The first time ever met Skunky, was at work. He was in his first year at the local college, and I was in the workings of going off to my school of choice on the other side of the country. We were both working at Wal-mart, me as CSM ( customer service manager) and he in Electronics. If you know anything about Skunky in real life, you'd know that this job was PERFECTLY suited to him. He's a pop culture junkie, and loves anything to do with music and movies. He's a slight nerd ( to any of you familiar with submarine life in the Navy, my husband is Nuc. Yes they are a special breed :)) though to look at him your first impression would to be that he is much more of a nerd then he is in reality. He's short ( 5'6") and skinny ( 130lbs....he was SO proud when he hit 150 after we got married. BUT...underways and deployment have taken their toll and he's back in the 130's again) and wears a pretty thick pair of glasses ( we have the exact same prescription!) Are you getting a good mental picture here? Add to all of that the fact that I'm positive he has ADHD ( though his mother never had the money to take him to a Dr. and get him diagnosed) and my first impressions of him were this small...really can't be described as anything but "squirrely" little...well boy at the time, and he really wasn't even a blip on my radar to say the least.
Technically I was his supervisor (but only because I handled any problems he had with his casher-register.) Strike one. And I knew he wasn't Mormon, because we had a small branch and my dad was Branch president. Strike two. Really...the poor guy had a lot to overcome in my mind before he was even aware that he might like me. Except for one thing...
The guy's personality is INFECTIOUS! You cannot help but like this man! He is giddy, and positive, and funny....your first impression of him is " man, this kid is a little weird" but after 10 minutes you are literally best friends! After a few months on the boat, I had a chief come up to me after an FRG meeting and ask " You're Skunky's wife?" "Yessss...?" " I have to tell you, your husband is literally the most well like guy on the boat. There isn't anyone I know of that dislikes him." Leave it to my husband to befriend 150 sailors in just the span of a few months. :)
Months went by before he actually got around to asking me out. I wouldn't find out until later that he had actually talked with one of his buddies ( who also happened to work at Wal-Mart) about me and this guy had in not so many words told him that I was out of his league! Boy have we had a good laugh about that now. :)
When he did finally get around to it though...is a memory I will always cherish.
It was morning before the store opened. I was at the podium organizing my cash for the day, getting my registers ready, and setting out the cashier schedule for the day. Every department that had a register and keys to any locked cases were required to come to me and get them before the start of their shift. I was used to seeing Skunky, and enjoyed his little chit-chat in the mornings when he would come to get his stuff.
I saw him zoom around the corner as usual ( he's a VERY fast walker) and pulled out his bag and keys and the clipboard for him to sign them out, and then went back to the task I was working on.
" Morning, Jenn."
" Hey, Skunky!"
" How ya doin'?
" Alright...hey it looks like we're gonna be a little short handed on cashiers today. You wouldn't mind coming up if I need you would you?"
" Yeah, sure, no problem. Hey uh,...I was wondering, do you want to go out sometime?"
Silence. I stopped writing and peered over the podium at him. He was, quite literally, only about 5 inches away from me. And he had stopped his normal fidgeting. He was standing stock still...he wasn't even blinking!
I felt the lump start in the pit of my stomach. Uuugh....I'm gonna have to break this kid's heart. I thought frantically for ways I could let him down softly, all the while he stood there, still, unblinking, the look of a man awaiting a death sentence. And I thought to myself...Jen, one date is not gonna hurt.
I stepped back...personal space was obviously and issue he had when he was nervous. " Um...sure, Skunky...that sounds like fun." I could hear the pitty in my own voice. I hoped that he couldn't...
Instant transformation. Big smile, exuding all of the pent up energy he had just boiling under the surface, bouncing from foot to foot again. " Great! Alright, I'll make a plan and get back to you!" he turned and zoomed back around the corner to his department, and I was left at the podium, wondering what I had just gotten myself into.
He got back to me at the end of the day, and we made a plan for our first date the following week. But that is a story for another Sunday. :) Anyone up for seeing some a video of, years later, what would be the product of this awkward asking out?
I'm going to be somewhat predictable and start with a story about me and the Hubs. (And I'm unsatisfied with his alias so I think I'm gonna start calling him... Skunky. LOL and THAT has got a good story that I will save for another day!) I figure that starting with something basic, and a subject that most spouses find interesting, is safe. PLUS, most of you know only what I have posted on here in recent history...I'm the wife of a Submarine Sailor, we have two young children, and I am living through our first deployment. Ahhhhh...but where did it all begin? :)
I like to fancy myself with the idea that Skunky and I have one of those "epic" love stories. Which..it's epic to me and that's really all that matters. :) But it did take him almost 4 years to convince me I wanted to marry him! So just the time period is bound to add a little 'spice' into our love story!
The first time ever met Skunky, was at work. He was in his first year at the local college, and I was in the workings of going off to my school of choice on the other side of the country. We were both working at Wal-mart, me as CSM ( customer service manager) and he in Electronics. If you know anything about Skunky in real life, you'd know that this job was PERFECTLY suited to him. He's a pop culture junkie, and loves anything to do with music and movies. He's a slight nerd ( to any of you familiar with submarine life in the Navy, my husband is Nuc. Yes they are a special breed :)) though to look at him your first impression would to be that he is much more of a nerd then he is in reality. He's short ( 5'6") and skinny ( 130lbs....he was SO proud when he hit 150 after we got married. BUT...underways and deployment have taken their toll and he's back in the 130's again) and wears a pretty thick pair of glasses ( we have the exact same prescription!) Are you getting a good mental picture here? Add to all of that the fact that I'm positive he has ADHD ( though his mother never had the money to take him to a Dr. and get him diagnosed) and my first impressions of him were this small...really can't be described as anything but "squirrely" little...well boy at the time, and he really wasn't even a blip on my radar to say the least.
Technically I was his supervisor (but only because I handled any problems he had with his casher-register.) Strike one. And I knew he wasn't Mormon, because we had a small branch and my dad was Branch president. Strike two. Really...the poor guy had a lot to overcome in my mind before he was even aware that he might like me. Except for one thing...
The guy's personality is INFECTIOUS! You cannot help but like this man! He is giddy, and positive, and funny....your first impression of him is " man, this kid is a little weird" but after 10 minutes you are literally best friends! After a few months on the boat, I had a chief come up to me after an FRG meeting and ask " You're Skunky's wife?" "Yessss...?" " I have to tell you, your husband is literally the most well like guy on the boat. There isn't anyone I know of that dislikes him." Leave it to my husband to befriend 150 sailors in just the span of a few months. :)
Months went by before he actually got around to asking me out. I wouldn't find out until later that he had actually talked with one of his buddies ( who also happened to work at Wal-Mart) about me and this guy had in not so many words told him that I was out of his league! Boy have we had a good laugh about that now. :)
When he did finally get around to it though...is a memory I will always cherish.
It was morning before the store opened. I was at the podium organizing my cash for the day, getting my registers ready, and setting out the cashier schedule for the day. Every department that had a register and keys to any locked cases were required to come to me and get them before the start of their shift. I was used to seeing Skunky, and enjoyed his little chit-chat in the mornings when he would come to get his stuff.
I saw him zoom around the corner as usual ( he's a VERY fast walker) and pulled out his bag and keys and the clipboard for him to sign them out, and then went back to the task I was working on.
" Morning, Jenn."
" Hey, Skunky!"
" How ya doin'?
" Alright...hey it looks like we're gonna be a little short handed on cashiers today. You wouldn't mind coming up if I need you would you?"
" Yeah, sure, no problem. Hey uh,...I was wondering, do you want to go out sometime?"
Silence. I stopped writing and peered over the podium at him. He was, quite literally, only about 5 inches away from me. And he had stopped his normal fidgeting. He was standing stock still...he wasn't even blinking!
I felt the lump start in the pit of my stomach. Uuugh....I'm gonna have to break this kid's heart. I thought frantically for ways I could let him down softly, all the while he stood there, still, unblinking, the look of a man awaiting a death sentence. And I thought to myself...Jen, one date is not gonna hurt.
I stepped back...personal space was obviously and issue he had when he was nervous. " Um...sure, Skunky...that sounds like fun." I could hear the pitty in my own voice. I hoped that he couldn't...
Instant transformation. Big smile, exuding all of the pent up energy he had just boiling under the surface, bouncing from foot to foot again. " Great! Alright, I'll make a plan and get back to you!" he turned and zoomed back around the corner to his department, and I was left at the podium, wondering what I had just gotten myself into.
He got back to me at the end of the day, and we made a plan for our first date the following week. But that is a story for another Sunday. :) Anyone up for seeing some a video of, years later, what would be the product of this awkward asking out?
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